honk the horn

Take 5

2009-08-14T09:14:00.002+01:00

I saw the aftermath of a crash this morning... the medics who are in the town hall (where i work) covering the new BBC production 'Streetdance', obviously bored with looking after the urban dance squad, were quickly on scene.

she looked shocking, but apparently she's fine.

she committed the cardinal sin of attempting to pass a stationary van on her near side. a motorist decided he couldn't be fucked for her to make this time consuming manoeuvre and went for the space...

sadly the space wasn't wide enough for him, the van, a street sweeper truck and yes, the little lady on her bike.

for... fuck's... sake...

i bore myself with this, but are you really that important? is your time so precious that 30 seconds will make all the difference? maybe someone's life is more important?

we need radical solutions to this, dangerous driving should be punished, i've been tempted to dispense retribution with my u-lock on many occasion, usually stopping due to the thought of bum rape at her majesty's pleasure or a sound beating from the 3 men in the van that just buzzed me.

but we need something, it all makes me sad, so sad, why don't people care that their anger born of frustration and manifested in stupid dangerous driving is life threatening? why?

the solution that they're all just cunts isn't enough.

Bike trains

2009-08-14T09:02:00.006+01:00

I heard about these a little while ago, then they came to ground again during (another) tube strike.

Whilst i like the idea of encouraging folk, who are too scared to ride on London's roads... actually... hang on, no i don't. i don't like it at all. i encounter enough numpties on my ride in as it is. when they all turn out it's a fucking nightmare.

i can't help thinking the whole thing is flawed, i was listening to the train pimp on the radio this morning extolling the virtues of london's cycle routes. we're not in fucking holland, london's bike routes are shit, they're usually on crap side roads covered in glass and dog shit. they're not a good indication of what it's like to commute in london.

he continued to say that you can ride to most places in london, on bike routes, and hardly encounter any cars. i would abso-fucking-lutely love to see that route.

if i was slightly more christian, i could see the benefit of these trains, getting people out on their bikes, losing some of that fear. but ultimately, riding in london (and most cities i imagine) is scary, there are lots of big petrol powered idiots around with scant regard for your safety, poor surfaces with potholes big enough to swallow up a wheel, shocking traffic flow and yes, dog shit and glass everywhere.

teaching people to ride on the quiet roads could well be a good starting point, but it's only the beginning, you need to ride the rough bits, otherwise your bike isn't empowering, you can't go anywhere you like without consulting cycle maps. you're on rails effectively. it's like saying i will only use the number 12, 36 and 25 buses to get around london, i can get everywhere with those, it may take me 5 hours, but i can do it.

You can't get everywhere with those buses by the way. it's just a metaphor.

let's look at the real barriers to riding in london. i.e. all of the above...

I'm speechless...

2009-07-29T13:38:00.003+01:00

... well, not quite.

Right, so there's this fella in the states, he sees a couple out on their bikes, he sees their 3 year old in a child seat.

He then decides to tell them he doesn't think it's safe for them to be doing that.

They discuss.

He then pulls a gun and shoots one of them in the head. Thankfully missing and just cracking open a helmet rather than a skull.

Fucking hell.

What makes it even scarier, he wasn't pissed, he wasn't high, but he was a fucking idiot.

The original article is here if you're interested, gleamed from urban velo, THE site for all your bicycle related news!

Make your own!

2009-07-29T13:33:00.002+01:00

Great work from the bods at Make Magazine.

The lovely Keito bought me a sewing machine for my birthday and i'm itching to find a suitable project.

I realise the idea of my coveting such a home economics icon like the sewing machine, will be at odds with my public image of a bad tempered/mannered gruffin. But I'm going to use it to sew guns... or hate... or something...

yeh...

The Global Pandemic

2009-07-24T16:54:00.002+01:00

It's all over the news, everyone is scared, we're hearing about ‘it’ all the time.

Yes, I'm talking about the relentless spread of fixed gear bikes in London.

I blame this on Charge for making it all a lot more affordable. Not really. I blame it on Shoreditch and BLB. Not really.

I just want to be different at the end of the day. I want people to ask why i only have one gear, rather than ask what ratio I'm running. It's all vanity. I'm as guilty...

But, here's the killer, the death knoll, the dying gasp... I saw John Torode on a fixed gear. A Charge Freestyler.

Subcultures don't get more mainstream than this! you have to imagine Greg shouting that.

Oh yeh

2009-07-24T16:53:00.000+01:00

and i'm not bored with the sound of my own voice anymore.

On the subject of the ASL

2009-07-24T16:40:00.003+01:00

The ASL, the advance stop line, the bike box, it's there for a reason.

It's so that ‘we’ the vulnerable cyclists, can get a bit of a head start from you chaps in the petrol powered lumps of metal. They’re in place so that YOU can see us.

If you push to the front, and yes, all you scooter/motorbike riders are the worst, then we can't fit in the fucking box. Which leaves us rammed down the side of a car/van/idiot.

This is dangerous. This is why we have ASLs.

I had an argument just the other day... as I realise sometimes people will enter by accident, say if you're trying to dangerously jump through the light as it turns to red, rather than slow down, for example.

Anyway, I came upon someone parked in the ASL, I said nothing, it could ‘innocent’. We both pulled away, only to come to another ASL, where he did it again.

I said to him 'This is a BIKE box. For BIKES.'

He holds his hands up and says 'and?' (I think he said that, he wasn't kind enough to wind his window down).

I tell him it's illegal.

He holds his hands together and says 'sorry' with a big shit eating grin on his face.

Amazingly, I didn't just start swearing at him profusely. I held back and told him he was a 'funny man', real funny 'really clever. very witty' - i kept going with it, not really sure where i was going to be honest. But i kept doing it.

Eventually we both pulled off again and i smiled at him again and pointed at my teeth, mouthing 'funny man'

He held his hand out of this window and flicked me the bird.

I'm taking that as a win. When you stoop to the finger, you're out. You LOSE.

But let's consider this for a moment, he had a passenger, a young(ish) girl, which I'm going to assume is his daughter. Now if she were riding through London, wouldn’t he want her to have a little headstart and visibility? maybe?

Just think about it for a fucking second, it's illegal, it's dangerous, you gain a millisecond.

Stop doing it you cunts.

Let me introduce you to the concept of people in glass houses...

2009-07-24T16:36:00.003+01:00

Right, here's how it goes...

Naughty man in car, using phone. BAD.

Motorcyclist tells man in car to stop using his phone, 'it's illegal' he shouts. GOOD.

Motorcyclist shouting at man in car is parked in the ASL (or bike box). BAD.

Right gents, both of you are in the wrong here, by no means do two wrongs make a right.

You're both pricks and I'm angry with you both equally.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and yes, I told him that.

Bored...

2009-06-09T13:52:00.002+01:00

... with the sound of my own voice. ranting on and on about the same things, day in, day out...

so i stopped bothering with this blog, if i was bored with me, then surely anyone who stumbled across my blog would be too.

but, today, 3 things happened that made me want to write/rant.

the first

i had to take the train today, i congratulated myself on two wins, one i missed a soaking this morning and two, i'd avoided the inevitable influx of numpties onto london's roads thanks to the RMT and yet another strike.

well, within 5 minutes i was already hacked off with the train and wishing i was soaked (on a bike), then keito pointed out the strike is tomorrow... when i'm biking...

now, i should be happy with more cyclists on the road, i really should... but i'm not... as most of them will be a fucking liability to me and themselves.

the second

after getting off the train, i had to take a bus up to shoreditch. whilst on said bus, i noticed a cyclist riding fixed, nothing unusual about that around those parts these days, i only noticed as he had a bagaboo that looked a bit like mine...

anyways, as he rides up, i see a youth crossing the road, quite young, full nike regalia, hood up, etc. now, whilst he wasn't exactly hurrying across the road, he certainly wasn't taking the piss (like a lot of dicks i seem to encounter in the city).

he's pretty much on the pavement by now, he's about two feet away, stopped only by a fence around some roadworks, i think 'fuck, he's cutting it close'. i have to be honest at this point, i have ran rather close to pedestrians in the past, it's fucking annoying when they step out, so i do have a tendency to try and intimidate... sometimes...

but this guy is close, very close... then i watch him shoulder the youth, sending him spinning back... youth obviously looks stunned (and a little upset) and mr bagaboo spins around to say something to him.

from here on in, this is pure conjecture, he may have turned around and apologised, if this is the case, then i'm very sorry. but if it's not and it's what i suspect, in that this was a deliberate move, then i'm also sorry... sorry, that you're such an utter, petty, self righteous, cunt.

i mean really, what did you get from that? you scared (and hurt) a 14 year old, well done Mr Billy Big Balls. No, really, well done, you really are hard, you've defended your 'turf' and advanced the image of the cyclist light years.

i won't go as far as saying i hope you die, but i will say i hope you have a nasty incident with a dirty glass and a lack of toilet facilities.

and finally...

the third

i was reminded of this:

chicks & bikes

Oh sweet joy!

NY

2008-09-21T21:38:00.002+01:00

I've been lucky enough to enjoy 3 days in New York, it's been cool and shit in equal measure.

high points being the amazing mexican food we had in the east village, cheetos and coney island beer.

low points being how fucking rude some people are and being asked for ID when trying to buy two bottles of becks.

anyway, the point of this post is, I'm shocked by the traffic, it's nasty, maybe fun, but deffo nasty.

anyone who rides here is hard, and the couriers are something else, they look like the bastard child of madmax (first film), James Caan in rollerball and Fields of the Nephelim... if two men and a band could mate...

i'd post a pic, but quite frankly, i was too scared to take one.

Can't do right for doing wrong...

2008-08-22T17:58:00.002+01:00

I seem to be stumbling from one social faux pas to another at the moment.

after last week's infamous law busting pavement joyride, i've:

1. annoyed an old lady by riding down a one way street. even though i stopped to let her and another gent across the road. it's worth noting she declined, most probably so that she could bitch about the one way street issue, if she'd crossed when i invited her too, it would have been null and void.

2. angered another bus driver by not being in a bus lane (perversely, they're normally annoyed when you are)

3. caused white van man to throw hate at me after i stopped him tearing through an amber teetering on red.

i don't know what the fuck i'm supposed to do here, when i break the law, jumping a red for example, there's no discretion, everyone hates me, i'm dangerous, i'm a law breaker, i should be hung (and probably drawn and quartered for good measure).

when i try and stick to the law and more, i.e. making room for buses, stopping at lights, everyone hates me too.

it's a lost cause.

it does however bring me to an interesting discussion i had some time ago about how it's okay if a car 'edges' through a red, but not if a cyclist cycles through when it's been on red for a while... i realise the original conversatin was a wind up from a mate of mine, but i think there's some truth in here... this is how the motorist (and everyone in the world, except cyclists, the naughty kind) see it.

in my eyes, the tearing through a light as it's changing to red is fucking dangerous. there is no discretion here, amber has come to mean 'accelerate' rather than slow down to perhaps stop before the red. i realise the irony BTW - when i jump reds, but people in glass houses and all that...

this is the bit that angers me, the times i've had dealings with the police (with one exception, i posted about that though, so i'll leave it), they've had no interest (or answer) for my question of when are you going to do something about the bad driving i see every day?

i'm not stupid, i do realise it's the equivalent of 'haven't you got anything better to do?' but it warrants an answer. all you need to do is employ the same sneaky mother fuckers who jump out from behind trees or ride bikes, in plain clothes, to ride up and down the old kent road making a note of anyone driving like a dick.

you'd make lots of money... sorry, you'd 'enforce the law' and make it all much safer and cosier for all of us.

Absolute helmets

2008-08-18T16:32:00.002+01:00

Please. Think about it. Perhaps look in the mirror. I'm not suggesting you need to study a instruction manual (or perhaps you do). But wearing a helmet incorrectly makes the whole act rather pointless.

I've created an illustration above to show some do’s and don’ts.

fig 1.0
The classic jaunty angled ‘Dandy’. Sadly this helmet will do fuck all when it comes to protecting the front of your noggin. The same front that will scrape along the ground after you’ve gone over the handlebars.

fig 2.0
The 'Push me. Pull me’. At a distance it's hard to tell if this rider is coming or going. Wearing the helmet back-to-front will add a greater degree of protection to the front of your bean brain (See above) but it will offer very little to the squishy rear. oh, and you'll look like an absolute cock.

fig 3.0
The 'Shit for brains'. Perhaps the most useful for wearers on either on the afore mentioned styles.

fig 4.0
The ‘Right way’. Simple, helmet on top of head, right way round, sweet. It's NOT hard.

The Whole Shebang

2008-08-15T12:11:00.002+01:00

I always feel as if I should care more about cycling as a whole, I mean I enjoy riding my bike, I like tinkering, I pour over bike mags, I check out bike porn on fixed gear gallery every day, I extol the virtues of riding every time I get chance...

BUT

and it feels like a relatively large but, I struggle to give one, never mind two, hoots about the larger cycle scene. It may be down to the fact I don't have many friends who are as committed (or obsessive) as I am to riding, maybe if I did, things would be different.

But I have found that things that are probably very good fun, smithfield nocturne for example, hold no draw to me and other 'important' events in the calendar, such as the tour leave me cold.

However, last weekend I found myself getting up early, well 9am, but it was a Sunday! to watch the women's Olympic road race.

After 30-40 minutes of archery, rowing and other such toff sports boring me shitless, I finally got to see some cycling. You're probably expecting me to say '... And it was shit', but it wasn't, I was completely mesmerized, I had to tell keito this was an 'ER' moment (her show, I'm not allowed to talk) and I was gripped, my heart was pounding and when I saw nicole cooke win, I felt overly emotional (which was a tad embarrassing).

Maybe this is the start of a new chapter and I'll care about time trials and pelatons, or maybe I'm just fair weather.

Either way, congratulations to nicole cooke, that was an awe-inspiring ride and to the other members of the GB team for some amazing tactics and complete and utter selflessness.

Oh, and with all those male riders dropping out because of the heat, it was impressive to see their female counterparts riding through some of the shittest riding conditions I've ever seen...

God did that

2008-08-08T19:28:00.005+01:00

I took the piss out of neil for jumping a red, which resulted in him receiving a fine and some points on his license.

then i get stopped by 'community support' and fined £30 for riding on the pavement... there is some sort of divine intervention here.

they've got me 'bang to rights' it is indeed illegal to ride on the pavement, i know this, this doesn't annoy me, well... it does, but that's just because i've been caught.

however, i am annoyed by the following facts:

1. i did this to avoid 3 lanes of fast moving traffic which i don't particularly enjoy weaving across every night.
2. the 'officers' were hiding behind a tree, with the van parked out of site, very underhand that...
3. whilst filling in a ticket the length of my arm, 3 chavs deliberately ride past them, shouted at them and get away scot-free
4. i witness a ridiculously dangerous move by a van which stopped 2 lanes of traffic to pull into the afore mentioned fast moving traffic (I did actually point this out, to no avail)
5. the section of pavement i was on, had no pedestrians on it and is approximately 20 feet wide
6. we've had a a record number of shootings of late (the most recent 10 minutes from where i was stopped) and i can't help wondering if their time could be better spent

and FINALLY, i'm annoyed by the fact i saw the other couple of community support bods ticketing someone else, thought 'phew, missed that, let's get away quick'
and then ran straight into these other two numpties...

i guess at the end of the day, i'm just annoyed i got caught.

The Long Arm (or shoulder) of the Law

2008-08-05T15:43:00.002+01:00

I saw this and it really annoyed the fuck out of me and actually made me feel slightly sick...

Atleast all I have to deal with from london city police is condescension and a good patronizing, not a good drubbing.

This 'officer's' father was quoted as saying you 'have to do, what you got to do to make an arrest'

Fucking hell... He was riding a bike, that was his 'offence' he's not a rapist, a killer, a bank robber, that barge and subsequent fall could have easily killed him.

Jeez.

Much is being made of the fact the officer is a 'third generation cop' - frankly if new york has had 3 generations of this, I feel sorry for you.

On a more positive note, much props to bikecommuters where i found the news. Fantastic site, which i'm now checking daily.

The 'right' way

2008-08-05T15:41:00.003+01:00

This whole 'right of way' thing is tricky, to me, it means i follow the highway code, but to a taxi driver, it just means you put your indicator on and you can turn wherever you want, no matter who is in your way or where you are.

I saw it the other week on borough high street, it's the height of morning rush hour, there's a taxi indicating to do a u-turn across all the traffic. He's pointing indignantly at this indicator.

Just because your taxi has a famously small turning circle, doesn't make it okay for you to do a u-turn in the middle of traffic you fuckwit, and you certainly don't have the fucking right of way. In fact, I'm sure if the police had been around you wouldn't even be attempting it.

Then I experienced it again this morning near liverpool street, I'm waiting at the lights with a taxi to my right, he starts to indicate left, then starts to move despite my presence (he has seen me).

I let him.

He doesn't have right of way, if there had been a car between him and the left he wouldn't have assumed as much, been as forceful or as ungrateful if they let him turn.

You have won nothing, my step down was self-preservation, not a victory to you.

Well, unless you count moving yourself further up the 'cock board' a victory.

Do it properly

2008-07-31T14:25:00.004+01:00

If you're going for the full fixed gear hipster look, i reckon you should take it to the logical extreme.

i've done you a pursuit version too. they seem very popular.

THAT hand signal

2008-07-29T17:38:00.000+01:00

I had another altercation with a bus driver this morning.

As I'm trying to be nicer, in light of yesterday's manners hiccup, when I saw the big red bus right on my ass, I moved over to let him through, admittedly, I did shake my head, but I made no attempts to raise a finger or shout obscenities.

However, as the bus passed me, I saw the driver ranting through the passenger door. I have no idea what he was saying, but he was plainly annoyed.

Then he cut me up.

So, as I come alongside the bus, I stop next to his window and say 'Was that really necessary?' to which he fires back expletives.

At this moment, I'm still beaming with pride that I didn't swear.

So I retort with 'so, as I annoyed you, you thought it was okay to drive dangerously?' and he says 'was I?'

Right, not the small grains of calm I'm grasping in my hands slip through and I reply 'yes you fucking were, you veered across the lane In a big fucking bus'

He goes mental at this point and starts shouting about 'reading the road' and something about the bus lane.

I say I wasn't in the bus lane and he shouts that I should have been.

Hang on, you're in the big fucking red thing with wheels that carries passengers, why should I be in the BUS lane.

I tell him that there is nothing in the highway code that states I HAVE to use a bus lane, it's my choice. I usually prefer not to, as it's full of cunts like him (I didn't say that bit btw, the cunt bit).

He really loses it now, so I tell him he's an idiot, a dangerous idiot who doesn't even know the highway code. Surprisingly, he doesn't respond well to this, so I push it and call him and idiot again.

He's puce now.

Then he does the naked sock puppet thing.

This is the point of this rant, what does the puppet mean? I mean, I know what it 'means' - I'm all mouth. But we both are, we've both been shouting at each other and neither of us made the offer to move this to queensbury rules.

Then I realise, I've seen this before, this is the last ditch effort of the puppeteer who has run out of expletives. My argument is you're being dangerous, you could kill someone and the highway code, that you're trying to use against me, has just bit you on the arse. Yours is... Ummm... Do you have one?

So, I tell him once more, he's an idiot and he's dangerous. So he drives off right next to me and my now shaking legs (with anger) wobble out of his way.
Are you trying to prove my point?

He does try and drive close me on the next turn, but he has to deal with traffic, I don't.

Two other minor points

1.
To that prick that was walking down the road with earphones in so that he couldn't hear me shouting 'excuse me'. I hope you get run over.

2.
I woke up this morning with an eye that looks like it's been punched. Great. Thanks. Not only do I have to deal with idiots, but with a disfigurement that makes me look like a circus act.

Function over form

2008-07-29T10:05:00.005+01:00

I'm confessed to a love of 'functional' bikes on this blog before, which thinking about it is a bit of ridiculous statement... surely all bikes are functional?

well, actually some of the gleaming show bikes that are tootling around shoreditch right now aren't.

anyway, i digress, i'm really digging bikes that look like they can handle shit, they're not all deep v's and track bars, but they're still mighty pretty. in fact, i've made my first move towards this... surly now has a rear rack fitted. the same tubus rack i'm removed from the box and looked at, only to put it back again, at least 20 times over the 9 months.

i took my first ride (to the supermarket) on saturday and it was a complete success, well aside from the first couple of near tips, it's mental how different the bike feels with panniers... but, i'm keen to prove i can manage without an engine.

back to other peoples bikes, lots of lovely examples of work bikes on cyclofiend
the rest of the site is awesome too btw.

i do think the american's are much better at this than us...

I am sometimes wrong

2008-07-29T09:53:00.005+01:00

I woke up yesterday with a banging head, complete lack of co-ordination and a sahara-esque mouth.

i only had 3 cans of kronenbourg to blame this on, that's not right or fair.

anyway, i set off after stumbling around and bashing my shins on the pedals/cranks atleast 3 times.

things are going okay, i'm riding through peckham park, there's another cyclist in front on an old peugeot mountain bike (with the coolest 80s graffiti style graphics), there's a guy in the path with his girlfriend (i assume) who moves out of the way.

so it's all good.

however, as i go past i hear him shouting something about '...our mother's not bringing us up properly...' i stop, i ask him who he's talking to, and he says both of us. he moved out of the way and we both went past without thanking him.

i'm tired, i can't be fucked, i'm certainly not going to jump through big hoops of gratitude, i tell him to get over it and say 'for fuck's sake' he shouts something else i don't hear/understand and i ride off.

i ride another couple of hundred metres and then i think... he's right, i should have said thanks. i was rude. i turn around, then i think if i go back now he'll probably think i'm taking the piss and ploat me.

I REALLY need to think a bit more... it's to easy to get caught up in a little fug of cycling self-righteousness...

Utility

2008-07-02T09:41:00.003+01:00

On a day-to-day basis i admire the flexibility of michelle's cycle helmet.
It was a cake tin last week, today a fruit bowl.

It all feels a little 'paddington bear'

And i thought I had it bad

2008-06-30T12:53:00.002+01:00

Daily i deal with cunts. lot's of them.
On the upside, i don't have to deal with bears wandering into the road.

i have to confess that, at first, i was interested in the article gleamed from cyclelicio.us then i read it a bit more carefully.

‘and we went, 'aaaahhhhh.’ and i was like and he was a like... i think i may have worked out how this happened...

'Bags' of room... haha... haaa...

2008-06-30T12:41:00.003+01:00

*sigh*

i bought a bagaboo and i have to say it's really rather ace.
it's a 'workhorse', which looks like this:

it's much bigger than the chrome that i use day-to-day and well... it feels more substantial. i may even do some kind of review on here i'm that enamoured.

Bikes and bus lanes

2008-06-13T10:45:00.002+01:00

Boris is about to drop his first clanger with an ill informed plan to allow motorcycles into bus lanes.

On a personal note, i have enough problems trying to avoid motorcyclists as is, allowing them into one of the few sanctuaries we have left will only make matters worse. Although, it seems a lot of the bikers commuting along the old kent road seem to think they already have rights to use bus lanes… it's not illegal if you only use a foot of the lane…

On a less personal note, the facts on which this decision is being made are flakey to say the least.

If you're reading this, and would like to help either the cycle commuters of london or just little 'ol me, sign up! and let's try to stop this nonsense...

Sign the petition here!

Fixed is dead

2008-06-09T10:26:00.001+01:00

Well... probably not... but these are cooler... really...

more here

Coasting

2008-06-09T09:47:00.004+01:00

I read about the trek lime on treehugger a little while ago, and whilst the whole concept intrigues me - coast brakes whilst a seemingly common childhood experience in the states, are/were rare as hen's teeth here, strictly grifter myself (yes, mine was EXACTLY like that) - i found the actual bike to be a dissappointment, then i guess it's not aimed at me.

then i saw this on bikehugger, mathowie's sweet mod... i want one...

i'm constantly impressed with our overseas friends attitude to their bikes and i think that's the keyword 'their' - whilst day-to-day in london, i see lots of new shiny fixed gear wheels (in fact a little too shiny and new) i rarely see personal bikes. most fall into the afore mentioned 'fixed/shoreditch' bracket, which i (perhaps cynically) see as mostly trend driven, or the full on commuter with an off-the-shelf evans* special, which i see as practical/don't give a shit. i should add there are a handful of roadies thrown in the mix, but less so.

anyway, i digress... i rarely see a bike that i think 'whoa... i'll steal that idea... to add to the list of bikes i 'need''

yet on bikehugger, commute by bike, fixed gear gallery, etc. i fall in love daily with the niche...

i should add these aren't always single/fixed beauts either, i'm getting more and more drawn to the practical, i'm loving wood/metal front racks (that you simply can't get here) paul comp, (which you can get here, but only after you've paid an additional $60 to the post office and tax man) and of course, all things surly.

i salute you america! (in a top gun sort of way)

*evans - absolute spawn of the devil, please don't ever shop here, they need to be stopped...

Oh the irony...

2008-06-06T10:07:00.003+01:00

this is london posted an article claiming that 64% of motorists are 'too scared to cycle because of traffic'

am i the only one to see any irony here? umm... you are the 'traffic'

read the full (pretty short) article here

Drivers, rage and real writers...

2008-06-04T14:15:00.005+01:00

I've pontificated far too often on the subjects of road rage, inconsiderate drivers and downright dangerous behaviour. Then as is often the way, i find someone has done it a hell of a lot better than me.

drat.

and double drat.

'People, in general, want everything they do to be as easy as possible, and they never want to be to blame for anything bad...ever. People who drive cars are no exception to that rule. With the The Scofflaw Cyclist straw man in place, car driving people have a target for the frustration they feel over the situation THEY have created, but for which they are completely unable to accept the blame. Most motorist frustration seems to be the result of not being able to get from point A to point B easily, and that's simply the result of traffic congestion. Traffic congestion, one might be surprised to discover, is caused by one thing and one thing only - too many cars in one place at one time. Scofflaw cyclists have nothing to do with it. While it runs counter to human nature to sit in traffic and think "I can't really get frustrated with this since I am, after all, as much to blame as every other motorist out here for this traffic jam," blaming Scofflaw Cyclists for the frustration that driving seems to engender is a bit far-fetched.'

the full article is here

and i read it at bikefixation first

That's plain wrong

2008-05-31T21:18:00.002+01:00

Urban Velo have a theory, a theory that explains, or atleast justifies the demise of nishiki.

this picture.

that's it.

and they deserved it.

nice shades tho.

Laid back

2008-05-20T16:49:00.003+01:00

I popped into bikefix today to pick up a spanner as my brooks is creaking like a good 'un. i couldn't even wait until i got home, the noise is just too much...

anyways, there was a very nice chap in there, we didn't get as far as shaking hands or exchanging names, but he was extolling the virtues of all things recumbent. he had his own machine in there, which looked far from my preconceived image of said machines, actually, he also broke that mental image.

basically, it was cool, i'm shocked to admit that, i've always admired the engineering (and the crazy chain length), but never, ever have i been tempted. until now.

i think it was the talk of hitting 30/40 mph that did it. but that was probably him more than the bike, i'm 'carrying' more...

it'll never wash with keito though.

The youth of today tsk!

2008-05-06T22:18:00.002+01:00

This was supposed to be the nice bit...

i'd negotiated cheapside, the idiot gauntlet, borough high street, the highest concentration of potholes this side of baghdad and the old kent road... which is... umm... 'shit'

i'm now cutting through peckham, along the cycle route, which weaves through parkland... ahh... i don't even need to hug the brakes.

now this is shared pavement, cycle and pedestrian, usually fine, not today.

i see bunch of teenage girls, 4 abreast, i slow down, i'm about to say 'excuse me' when i hear one say 'i bet he doesn't even say 'excuse me'

i should have been sensible (and polite) and done so, but i think 'fuck it' and go for a gap, plenty of room.

then i receive the most incredible shrieks, i turn and say 'it is half cycle path' - met by more shrieks and then i add 'what's with the attitude? i'm sharing, can't you?' - now everything goes crazy, you'd think i'd just popped one of them.

plainly the 'excuse me' had very little to do with this, this was more than that, i forget peckham thrives on attitude, i've been exposed to it enough, i should know better.

i ride away slowly with finger in the air, i don't feel better, i feel sad... i don't comprehend this, maybe i should have be more polite, but i suspect these demure teenagers wouldn't have been happy even if i had...

i'm scared. for teenage boys.

I like this a lot

2008-05-06T21:50:00.002+01:00

Let's take it back...

Gleamed from Bikehugger

and in turn from flickr

I've been a bit busy...

2008-05-06T21:22:00.003+01:00

... and other such excuses...

not only did the iro arrive, and boy what fun it's been, but so did my new airnimal and summer!

i can't begin to describe how nice it feels to be riding with warm toes and only two layers of clothing.

as for the airnimal, it's a strange beast, so completely different from any bike i've ever ridden. aside from the weirdness when you stop at lights and decide to let the bike rest against your thigh, then realise it doesn't have a top tube and watch it fall to earth... but, as much as it rides like the real deal compared to other folders, it's still a folder, and subsequently has all the flex of other folders.

i think it'll take some getting used to. but i'll enjoy it.

On the upside

2008-04-22T17:29:00.003+01:00

Zeus is dead! long live zeus!

the old zeus bike, after it's frame sadly passed away, has been reincarnated in the form of an iro.

i was worried that the smaller frame, a 53, would be too small after the surly which comes in at 56. well... to be honest, i was more worried i might look like a pea on a drum, and i still might, but i don't care, he flies... i was beaming when i got here, so fast...

the riding position is a little more 'aggressive' than i'm used to, but unless my shoulders pack in, i'm super happy.

thanks again to cycle team

sorry about the shitty pic, but i thought something was better than nothing.

Time Out!

2008-04-22T17:06:00.003+01:00

Time out ran a few articles this month on the subject of London's peculiar relationship with the bicycle.

inevitably there was a 'for' and 'against' spread... 'Don't pity the cyclist, snarls Michael Hodges' being the latter.

i realise (of just 'hope') that this is all tongue in cheek, but hell...

the 'argument' seemed to centre around us hooligans riding on the pavement, which to me was a bit of a non-starter anyway, as of all the things we get blamed for that one is the most ridiculous. i see very few dedicated commuters carrying out such an act.

but the main thrust of the discourse was how london was a city to wander around in and 'think'.

it seems 'thinking' involves carelessly stepping out into the road with scant regard for your own of others safety. 'London is also a city for nipping across the road and between cars; impossible when silent bicyclists come charging through the gaps at speed.' well.. pardon me, but ummmm... couldn't you use your eyes? and perhaps demonstrate some of that great london thinking and exercise common sense?

in fact, the bit that got me the most, was this little gem... 'the worship of the body rather than the brain, which is fundamental to cycling'. i should start by saying that i'm by no means an athlete, i like lager, lager likes making big bellies, i should stop smoking, i eat too much, i don't give a hoot about my optimum heart rate (unless it reaches my 'optimum' and results in death) but most of all, the big bug... it does exercise my brain, continually, from when i climb on to when i arrive at my destination, i never feel as awake and aware as when i'm on my bike. i have to be, to avoid pricks like you Mr Hodges.

p.s. the comments section is the most heartening read...

too cool...

2008-04-22T17:05:00.000+01:00

in a mr men sort of way.

A different place for both of us

2008-04-14T13:55:00.002+01:00

I had another run in with a taxi driver, nothing usual there, but noteworthy, just for the following.

as i ride down gray's inn road, i need to take a right across oncoming traffic, it's tight, but not normally too scary. then someone honks behind me.

i turn around and there's a private taxi behind me, as he comes past he says 'where are your hand signals' and waves his arm like he's trying to fly in circles.

i tell him that sadly, we're not living in the 40s and when i have some prick right behind me and oncoming traffic to my right, i don't really feel like taking a hand off the bars. i kinda thought the fact i was in front of you and going very slow, with one foot down may indicate my intention to stop some time soon.

the only reason you couldn't fit past was you were in a fucking massive car and in the wrong lane.

I'm sorry, but hand signals? for fucks sake, these people really need to try riding in london...

Nice pics...

2008-04-05T17:20:00.004+01:00

... and some really rather lovely machines. all from the man that makes those really rather lovely mudguards that i want.

sorry 'fenders'

sadly i can't lift a pic to show you as flickr won't let me, but it's worth a look, honest...

go here

i'm digging this one the most...

A break from the norm

2008-04-01T22:26:00.002+01:00

Well... this is weird... i don't have a rant to expel...

thanks to the whole daylight saving thing, i got to ride home in daylight for the first time in months.

don't get me wrong, i had occasion to call various motorists a 'cock', 'nob', 'twat' and even a 'plank'... yeh that one surprised me... but all of it was over shadowed by the absolute elation of spring's arrival.

normal service will be resumed very soon...

Big bikes...

2008-03-31T22:11:00.002+01:00

I've had an interest in so called 'utility' bikes since i saw the xtracycle, but said interest has been tempered by how many flights of stairs i'd have to carry it up or how i'd convince my lovely girlfriend that a huge bike in the house was a good idea...

however, there is a possibility that i'll have a garage soon and subsequently all the space i need to indulge my wildest bike dreams (maybe not the funds tho...). dreams that could also include a 'real' road bike with gears and EVERYTHING and save my karate monkey from it's 'for sale' status at my LBS...

anyway, as i don't drive (and don't wish to) i think the whole utility thing is a viable option (if you have space) and the inclination.

i was impressed with the kona ute on first view - now i'm not so sure, i love the surly big dummy - but perhaps not the price and the grandaddy of them all the xtracycle is always worth consideration...

so, i have found some amazing info at 'out there biking' but i'm wondering if anyone out there reading this (if in fact anyone is reading) has an opinion...

The pictured beauty by Tony Pereira is from here btw.

The end of the war

2008-03-31T21:37:00.002+01:00

i've always found bike snob humourous, i don't necessarily agree all the time, but i guess that's the point...

i did find this one particularly funny though...

Ah... spring is here...

2008-03-28T13:45:00.003Z

or it was yesterday morning, bright blue skies, crisp air... i beamed all the way in.

we're back to rain and grey now. but hey, it perked me up no end, made me realize that cycling home in daylight is only around the corner!

i did have one 'hiccup' yesterday though, a bit of a run in with a taxi driver, in that he was determined to run in to me. i had made the mistake of being in the right lane, but sadly the same lane as the taxi which wanted to turn left into london bridge station. he couldn't wait a couple of seconds, hell no, he sat on my tail, quite literally.

so, as you can imagine, i kept peering over my shoulder.

as he turned, he shouted 'you got a problem?'

i have quite a few, i need to stop smoking, i perhaps drink too much, i like chocolate and pretty much anything that's bad for me... and i hate the way donkeys like you treat cyclists.

sadly, i didn't have much time, so i just shouted 'yeh, why are you driving so fucking close to me?'

to much his witty rebuke was a muppet-esque hand movement, i believe suggesting i was 'all mouth'.

this got my goat somewhat (and to be honest i had a bit of a shitty day) so i got off my bike and waited on the road i knew he'd come down after dropping his passenger. sure enough, he comes down the road a few minutes later, sees me, smiles and drives straight past.

okay, let me get this straight, i'm all mouth, so here i am, let's discuss why you feel the need to push us into the margins, why
you feel the need to drive so dangerously, what you think your passenger is thinking of you right now...

now i'm no fighter and i wasn't looking for any kind of comeback further than a few well chosen words, or badly chosen obscenities. but you didn't provide any, you scuttled off in your metal cage. well done big man... full of the joys of spring...

Pedestrians

2008-03-26T22:21:00.003Z

please stop (and look and listen for that matter).

twice today, yes, twice, i narrowly avoided hitting people. the first, at london bridge decided to run across the road as the lights changed. i foolishly thought they'd stop when they saw me, no, they ran, panicked a bit, froze, then had another pop... cue screeching of brakes, sliding and a glancing blow. nothing to hurt, but enough to scare the shit out of me (and them).

then tonight, 50M from the same spot, a bunch of people decide to cross after the cars in front of me (oh yeah, the wait for them). they don't rush, they dawdle, now what am i supposed to do? this is downhill, the road is wet, i brake, slide (again) and slow... what do i get? vacant, empty, dead eyes...

PLEASE stop doing this it's fucking dangerous for both of us (believe me it will hurt if hit you, i'll make sure of it), just treat me like a car, i'm supposed to be there, you're not.

The tabloids...

2008-03-26T22:10:00.003Z

... had a field day with the whole cameron thing. don't get me wrong, i think the guy is a prick and the whole ride a bike with a car behind is indefensible...

BUT

and it's a reasonably large but, i won't condemn his actions on his route in. fuck, i would have jumped the light he stopped at.

i think people need to realise that you have to ride aggressively, or is that defensively, in london.

pushing yourself to the front is the only way to avoid the inevitable scrum that has no thought for your safety.

anyway, velorution as always hasve a very informed take on this.

oh...and please, you've got money, get a decent ride.

Top tips

2008-03-24T22:14:00.001Z

yet more top tips from the wonderful commute by bike site

It's spring

2008-03-24T21:45:00.004Z

so why, when we're eating easter eggs, is it snowing,hailing and generally being weird?

i got caught in a biblical hailstorm on friday after stopping off to buy chocolate products, then it's snowed pretty much all weekend. i'm not going to bang on about global warming and perhaps suggest that you all use bikes more than your 'gas guzzlers' - but - i will say 'this is weird...'

and i didn't get to clean surly (again)

Be aggressive

2008-03-19T18:45:00.004Z

I always thought aggressive riding made sense, not in the traditonal fitness rider sense where you career past everyone (in your football socks and massive white trainers) in a reckless fashion...

no, something more sensible, taking control, trying to remove dangers... anyways, commute by bike have done a very good job of explaining what i mean... so, i can duck out and get a beer now... cheers to Tim Grahl!

how many fucking times...

2008-03-18T22:48:00.006Z

i know you hate me.

i know you think i'm dangerous.

i know you won't believe we don't all wear luminous lycra whilst fantasizing that we're ascending that col...

but please do believe this:

I AM NOT THE DANGER. YOU HAVE SEVERAL TONS OF METAL, AN ENGINE AND AN ATTITUDE. STOP IT.

we're not all smug, believe it or not, i ride my bike because i enjoy it, not because i have swampy/eco warrior fantasies. i don't set out to annoy motorists, i do enjoy passing them, but hey! you could do that too if you ditched the car. i don't take risks, but i do make moves to get me out of your way.

stop this shit, there is no reason for motorists to hate cyclists and constantly bleat about them, we jump the odd red light, we push to the front (for our own safety) and some of us *gulp* wear lycra.

get a grip, you're driving a polluting, lethal, hunk of metal with scant regard for your own or other's safety. let's think about this one.

oh! and the article that prompted this is here

gleamed from cyclelicio.us

Day 1

2008-03-18T22:26:00.003Z

well... day 1 of the experiment didn't go too well, i chose not to document this morning's journey foolishly thinking my puny mind would remember this evening... on the sofa... with a beer...

don't get me wrong, i remember bits, i remember the bus on commercial street that sped past so close that i'm sure it nearly clipped my ear, i remember the pedestrian... oh, hang on was that yesterday...

on the way home similar happened, i got in, had a shower, opened a beer, had my chicken noodle soup that the lovely keito kindly made... watched millionaire... now my mind is peppered, rather than rammed.

i do remember the woman who pulled out in front of me, who i cussed and then realised she had plenty time, it was just the way she toyed with her hair whilst driving that annoyed...

anyway, what i'm getting to is...

i think this day-to-day annoyance, frustration and general cussing is becoming just that, day-to-day and subsequently instantly forgettable. this does make me sad, i have moments (on velo) where i become deeply, deeply depressed by the inconsideration, the lack of care, the desire to maim because you're simply 'in the way' but i also have moments where i'm deliriously happy to be on two wheels, not four, or more,or tracks... which i have to do tomorrow, i'm already dreading it, the £7.80 charge and the angry commuters...

so, what i'm saying is, does the annoyance cancel out the joy? or do they create a weird equilibrium? i dunno... i'm just a cyclist...

i still plan to make a 'cock chart' and i still plan to document this... i guess i just need to... umm... plan things a little better...

This is a test

2008-03-17T22:51:00.002Z

Gleamed from velorution (again) very nice bit of work...

Stop, look AND listen

2008-03-17T22:28:00.003Z

mr pedestrian, you hate us, we're dangerous, we jump red lights... we're evil... you're innocent, blameless... now please climb down from your ivory tower...

when you cause a pile up with two cyclists (my workmate and her partner), please have the common decency to stop, perhaps see if everyone is okay and maybe even help them lift themselves and their mangled steeds out of the danger zone.

you caused it, have some decency you steaming pile of shit.

then you can climb back up and start raving about the biggest threat to streets of london... ummm... the cyclist... grrrr... or something scary... like rrraahhhh....

I appreciate the sentiment...

2008-03-17T22:15:00.004Z

.. and the beautiful artwork.

insightful and often profound strips at yehuda moon

Real Statisics & Facts (Idiot Percentiles)

2008-03-17T21:21:00.008Z

once again i find myself apologizing to the ether (and perhaps one or two people who MIGHT still check my blog...). i've been slack with this blog...

i have a home with the lovely keito, i'm taking legal action against the kind person who owned my last one and trying to gather some cash (to replace the ridiculous amounts i've spent finding said home).

all my other big priorities have taken a back seat, with the exception of beer and cigarettes - they've become close friends, especially bikes, they've fallen by the wayside (no pun intended). Zeus (as you may have seen) has moved on to the great velodrome in the sky, karate monkey is about to go on ebay and hopefully to new owner who can do him justice...

this leaves me and cross check... he's in a new mode, as my only bike he has to be more comfortable, he's flexing some straight bar action and some rather lovely new levers from paul comp.

we're quite happy together... but we'll be happier when my new airnimal arrives and zeus gets reincarnated (he's more of a donor) :-)

anyway, i've got some big plans this year to document the high concentration of dicks on the roads. ultimately i'd like to take some video footage of the worst i see, but in the meantime i plan to create some cock charts, i.e. capture with graphic devices the number of times i feel the need to say 'cock' on my commute, then offset it against the percentages... i.e whether it was deserved or was i just being plain mardy (this will be judged after the ride, coffee (or beer) in hand),

so, check back, we'll see what the stats say...

oh! i used it a lot today, especially at the taxi driver, who turned in on me, then indicated, then looked... i'm sure that's the wrong way round...

I'm working on it...

2008-01-30T14:16:00.001Z

R.I.P ZEUS

2008-01-21T16:06:00.001Z

Poor Zeus is dead...

he snapped his 5th and final seat pin on friday.

I could no longer deal with losing an inch on every bike ride and snapping two pins a week. He will be retired.

I was quite sad actually, that bike certainly made up in riding fun for lack of good looks. Zeus was a blast.

Now this leaves me with the pressing question of how to fill such a gaping cycling hole... oh dear...

and us doing something right...

2008-01-21T14:06:00.001Z

in a recent article in the mail (i found it on a blog, honest) there's a claim that a 20% increase in cycling could result in saving £500 million by 2012.

that's (as they also state) £400 a cyclist

old news, but interesting none-the-less...

here it is

Oh... it's our fault again...

2008-01-21T13:46:00.001Z

Now I've had a few dealings with the city of london cycle police, they've been pleasant and condascending in equal measure.

However, i do find their presence on the city streets to be more about raking in cash than actually doing much about the law.

it's interesting to find that they're now spreading false propaganda...

after the beeb documentary about road rage it seems the city police were out in force charging £40 a pop without any discretion. then city chief Aspinall states 'the ‘number of casualties of cyclists’ in the City is ‘mainly due to cyclist behaviour'.

I'm sorry, but this is a crock of shit, as proved in last year's investigation, reckless driving of cars and lorries is much further up the city casualty list than jumping red lights.

Personally i see this as another example of the demonisation of the city's cyclists. to the general public/commuter, once again we deserve the title 'lycra lout' - who came up with that BTW? have they ever looked at the average commuter? lycra doesn't come into it...

Back to my point, the dangerous driving i encounter everyday is down to my reckless riding, like the time the driver in peckham cut directly across my path to take a left, the time the driver in honor oak pulled out in front of me, the time the lorry drove at me... oh yes, all my fault, i was being 'reckless'

for fuck's sake...

anyway, you can read more about it on the CTC site

2. Stoking the hate...

2008-01-10T13:45:00.001Z

i realise it's a tricky one, it is about freedom of speech after all. but i do think we have to exercise a degree of personal responsibility. as much as i find some materials online abhorrent, i also find it impossible to accept any kind of censorship of the internet as acceptable or indeed workable. so, i guess... hmmm... i'm not sure what i'm saying...

anyway's, i read about this on the velorution blog and i felt the mist descend.

i realise cyclists are seen to be pretty much enemy number one on the UK's streets. I'm not sure why, yes, some are incosiderate, a lot jump red lights, but that's it really. It's not like there's some kind of gang of rampant commuters raping and pillaging their way across the country.

so why do i (and any one else on 2 wheels) become a target for such hate? if i posted a blog about how to knock over prams or stories about pushing grannies down stairs i'm sure it wouldn't go down well (well... if anyone was actually reading this).

But, a professional writes a story that talks about decapitating cyclists and it gets published. whether i find it funny or not (i don't) this is about far more than that... i really don't think all the haters and twats out there need any more ideas, they consistently step out in front of me, cut me up in their cars, dangerously pass me in the buses, debate legality with me, then jump reds themselves (it's okay, they're not jumping a red, just 'edging through')... really, they've got enough.

I'm not even going to comment anymore, as it's been handled much more eloquently (and from a better informed mind) by andrea at velorution and on Treadly & Me

1. Hmmmm...

2008-01-10T13:42:00.000Z

Not sure how i feel about chain guards, but i am starting to love the practical in my old age and these are purty.

would stop me getting oil on my tweed.

from the soma blog

Well... I'm back blogging...

2008-01-10T13:39:00.000Z

I've been super slack of late, even by my standards...

I spent most of November trying to find somewhere to live, then most of december picking up the pieces when it all fell apart.

nearly £5K down and with a lovely new bike stand, but nowhere to put it, i wasn't feeling up to much... except perhaps causing (financial) harm to my landlord...

anyways, hopefully i have a new home, sadly with less bike space, but on the upside it should have heating, no mice and a landlord with an ounce of decency.

so, to set things up for the new year and all the rants it will definitely inspire, i have two vastly different posts...

Calendar girls

2007-10-31T13:50:00.000Z

But no women's voluntary service in sight.
Pretty girls on bikes

although i have to say that a couple of them in there look like they'd kill you first.

nice bikes tho... and it's always good to see strong ladies.

It probably wouldn't surprise my mates...

2007-10-31T13:43:00.001Z

...if i got caught doing this
man caught having sex with bike

i mean, when you've got 3 bikes and another on it's way, it's bordering on obsession, but even i'd draw the line here.

the thing i don't understand is... if he was in his room doing this, why is he on the register? it's not like he's doing any harm?!? unless it's YOUR bike of course... and what's with the white t-shirt only? yak...

i hope you appreciate the fact i have made no reference to hand pumps, cranks or any other bike related rudeness.

I've been a bit stupid...

2007-10-16T11:09:00.000+01:00

... of late, i managed to miss a red light the other week (yes, really, cub's honour). I have to say in my defence it was after a very close call with a car, a car that had decided it was bored with queuing and used it's 'magic indicators*' before turning across my path...

anyways, i was contemplating said near miss when i missed that darn light. unfortunately the bus coming the other way, damn sure wasn't going to miss his green (despite the pesky cyclist in his way). thankfully my brakes were working pretty well...

so, another near miss avoided.

however as i cycle alongside the bendy bus, which has stopped for passengers, i see the driver pull his window open. so, i stop to see what he has to say...

'i suppose you didn't see me or the red light?' was his opening gambit.

i informed him that hadn't actually seen the red, but thankfully i had seen him otherwise i'd be under the bus right now.

i then asked if he thought he had the right to kill someone simply because he had green.

this one stunned even me, he replied 'yes'

i have to confess to being shell shocked by that and only managed to retort 'like every other bus driver, you're a fucking idiot' and rode off. I'm not particularly proud of that as a come back, but i really couldn't believe he'd said that, even if it was knee-jerk.

Which brings me to my point, I'm continually amazed by the movements of (to be fair) SOME motorists. It seems that i am fair game if i do something as stupid as get in their way. I understand the frustration felt commuting in London (believe me i do, I'm the one in the rain getting cut up by you), but i never feel the need to actually attempt to kill someone.

I had a similar one this morning with a taxi, i didn't see the no-entry sign and was following the road markings. Again, i was being a bit stupid, or very stupid, but sadly you're not allowed to kill people for that reason.

that exchange was a little crude, i did however ask him if he thought he had the right to kill me because i'd made a mistake, this does seem to fluster people... to the point that he decided to mimic my geordie accent, repeating 'haway' over and over. I have to confess to thinking this was a good mindless come back at first, but was then hit with a wave of depression... i love riding my bike, but i'm really struggling with the general driver's attitude at the mo, i don't know if it's the winter and the poor conditions, but something is giving me the shivers...

*i can't take credit for this term, the cyclist who witnessed my near miss coined it.

Tara's recovery

2007-09-19T20:30:00.000+01:00

There's a site up to help Tara Llanes with her hilarious US medical bills...

I think she's an inspiration, as in fact i do anyone dealing with such a traumatic injury with such bravery and humour. No, i really don't mean that to sound patronising...

anyway, the site is here
i've given a little, would be lovely if someone else could too...

I've gone and done it...

2007-09-17T21:34:00.001+01:00

...ordered a airnimal that is.

after much deliberation, a lot of help from the nice fella at velorution and a great deal of patience from my hun keito who sat quietly as i test rode and whittered about wheel sizes... i went for the explore, figuring it gave me plenty versatility with the fatter tyres and hub.

Now I just have to wait 2 weeks (I hope)... It feels like xmas...

Boris...

2007-09-11T13:33:00.000+01:00

now... i'm not saying it would make me vote for him... i do like boris on a person level, he's highly entertaining and refreshingly blunt, but he is a bit blue for me...

but, i'd be surprised if his opinions on cycling don't win him a lot of friends.

apologies it's from 'the sun'
boris hates bendy buses

God.. what a depressing day...

2007-09-04T20:50:00.000+01:00

'Tara Llanes paralysed after crash'

go here now:
tara's myspace

Much respect(s)

2007-09-04T20:46:00.000+01:00

Slightly out of place on my blog, which is generally used for cussing and posting pictures of bikes i like...

But, i was saddened to see that Jane Tomlinson died today...
You can read more here

If you don't wish to follow that, Jane was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2000 and told she had 6 months to live, she then dedicated her remaining time to fundraising events, including the ride across america, impressive enough in itself.

sad... very sad...

On the subject of bike hugger

2007-09-04T20:40:00.000+01:00

check out this bad boy:
Ti commuter

not sure i could justify (or afford) it, but it's lovely...

loads more eurobike pics here.

those cannondale's are crazy...

Another in the 'fold' hur... hur...

2007-09-04T20:32:00.000+01:00

found this on bike radar from bike hugger...
'Dahon launch "lightest ever" folder'

I'm really coming around to folders, i used to really hate them, thought there were the domain of city pricks in 'driza-bone' or whatevers... stupid little wheel nonsense...

then my mate james' got one, which was a shock, and i looked at airnimals... and pacific reach... and... etc.

anyway, i'm loving the attention to detail that's been put into some of these bikes, whilst i realise a lot of them are limited edition, i think they're pushing the boundaries much more than conventional bikes. I mean, check out that crankset...

Anyway, I'm adding the 'Smooth Hound 6.0' to my list of possibles. it looks crazy... i like...

Thank you RMT

2007-09-04T20:16:00.000+01:00

It was weird riding in today... I'd completely forgotten about the tube strike. I guess it's one of the joys of relying on pedal power to get you to work...

I had noticed the hilarious amount of traffic in camberwell and the back ups at elephant and castle, but i didn't think much of it, just wallowing in the joy and self righteousness of riding and not burning up fuel/patience.

By the time i got to hyde park corner, i realised something was up... a huge wall of cyclists were coming my way. i mean, it's usually busy around here, but not this mental, then riding through hyde park it started to feel like the velorution had come, bike, upon bike, upon bike...

then it hit me, dur! tube strike! everyone has dusted off those bikes that only come out when there's no other possible option.

apparently the tube 'drivers' i put that in inverted commas as i'm not sure pushing a stick forwards and backwards is 'driving' are very unhappy with changes down to metronet that could jeopordize their 4 day weeks, 30K pay packet and very generous holidays. i feel, really i do...

Anyway, I have to confess to still enjoying it, somekind of 'dunkirk spirit' 'we'll get there no matter what' and i have to confess to feeling a slight sense of pride in london, a bit like after the bombings, everyone gets on with it, business as usual. I pictured the queen mum (god bless her) if she was still with us of course, out on her british racing green brompton popping down to paddy power for a dead cert...

ah!

then i realised there were a lot more cunts out here than usual.. i had people ride at me, cut me into traffic, wobble dangerously in front of me, have no idea what fucking side of the road they should be on... etc. etc. and most of them oblivious with ipod connected ears...

so, i'd just like to thanks bob, for putting all of those cunts i normally avoid by cycling rather than tubing right out in front of me.

ta, really! thanks ever so...

only two more days to go *sigh*

No, no, I'm sorry you are...

2007-09-04T20:10:00.000+01:00

When you drive straight at me, when i have right of way, cutting it rather fine, I'm entitled to call you a 'cunt' you can't come back at me, as by your actions my description is accurate.

It's akin to pushing some down some stairs or tripping someone up, it's cuntish behaviour.

so... don't try and defend yourself or get angry, you have done wrong.

I have illustrated the incident for clarity. If there is any confusion said 'cunt' or 'taxi driver' is clearly identifiable by the large cock drawn in the vehicle.

uh? what the...

2007-08-24T14:10:00.000+01:00

i'm sorry... but this is retarded...

folders

2007-08-22T20:35:00.000+01:00

i've been looking for a folding bike... for those days where i have nowhere to leave my precious bikes... yes, even the one i bought to be left anywhere... they're all too precious.

at the mo, and after some test rides, these are topping the list:
swift (although i can only get the alloy version, boo...)
airnimal joey (yes, named after mr. deacon)

they both look great although i have to confess to falling slightly for the retarded look of the swifts... i have the same problem with shoes, always attracted to the birkenstocks.

anyway, i'll bore you with details once i try/buy. but in the meantime i want the one pictured. some one make it... please!

TFL hitlist

2007-08-08T09:47:00.000+01:00

well, TFL finally got back to with the exact list of useful stuff when it comes down to ID-ing a driver.

they were actually pretty helpful and it appears i don't need to track the driver down or indeed follow him home... i do however need to do the following...

here's the mail:

Dear Andy

Thank you for your email about reporting bus driver behaviour to my colleague Jack. I am responding on Jack's behalf.

I was sorry to learn that the last two times you've reported dangerous behaviour; we've been unable to identify the driver in question. I can fully appreciate your frustration with this matter and as such I would like to offer you my sincere apologies.

I would certainly hope that you do not need to complain to us again about poor standards of driving, however, I appreciate that in reality there are no certainties - and that it's better to be equipped with the right knowledge at the time.

For us here at London Buses, the route number is probably the most important piece of information that allows us to immediately identify the correct operating company. As I'm sure you're already aware, we contract private operators to run bus services on our behalf. Once we know which operator runs the reported route, we can forward the complaint for their investigation.

I've listed below some other details which normally help the operators to identify the actual driver.

· Route number
· Time and Date
· Registration/Running or Driver numbers
· Exact location, including road names/landmarks
· Direction of travel
· Description of incident
· Brief description of driver where possible

I hope this helps to clarify the sort of thing we need in the event of a complaint.

Thank you once again for taking the time to write. Please feel free to contact me again if I can be of any further help.

Kind regards

well, there you go... just in case...

fired up on corned beef and anger

2007-07-13T14:47:00.000+01:00

I had a bit of a frustrating day yesterday, subsequently i went home, bought beer and made corned beef hotpot.

for those of you that are interested, corned beef hotpot is simply layers of tinned corned beef (fray bentos obviously), sliced onion and potato, then you fill it up with hot water and whack it in the oven for an hour. the result (for me) is a big old bowl of comfort and reassurance... with the unfortunate side effect of a massive belly that makes it difficult to sleep.

anyways, this carbo overload made me rocket-propelled on the way in. or atleast i would have, if it wasn't for the 101 numpties that got in my way. now i'm not being selfish here, everyone has there place on the road, but why do people who are plainly taking it easy have to push past you in stationery traffic, then set off at round 2mph? or push their way in front when you're squeezing through traffic, before realising their shitback commuter handlebars won't allow them to squeeze through anything smaller than 6ft wide.

why?

then there are the new fixed riders everywhere, one nearly edged me off the road, another nearly got whacked by a lorry...

anyway i'm going to blame some of this on brick lane bikes... only in that they sell some beautiful fixed bikes, amongst a plethora of other beautiful things.

so... i'm not really blaming them, atleast for that, but i will perhaps blame them for the uneccessary cool shit i'll be buying over the coming weeks...

!?!??!!!?!?!?!?!

2007-07-12T13:29:00.000+01:00

Once again, I'm speechless...

Jacobs engineering group, who advise TFL (for one) on the subject of sustainable transport have advised... no, 'ordered' their staff not to cycle to work as it's too dangerous.

you can read the full article here

surprisingly they weren't available for comment.

aside from the obvious, i.e. these people shouldn't be allowed to preach without practising, it does make me think that perhaps they're right... yes, I've read the facts that get trotted out by TFL at every chance, but i'm not convinced.

however, simply avoiding it is not the answer, I won't pretend i have a solution, but i do think the more of us doing it, the more we'll be taken seriously.

SAVE Southsea...

2007-07-11T12:13:00.001+01:00

Now i have to confess to not having skated since i was 20, i gave it up to follow my career... or i was shit or something...

anyway, i stil have a old man's longboard and as it involves something with wheels yet no engine, i can comment on these things.

my good friend at saftandboneless tells me portsmouth council are preparing to close down southsea skatepark, why? i know not, but it still stinks... especially (for me) considering tony hawk and lance mountain graced it's concrete curves at some point.

anyway, there's a petition here
so please sign it and let's try and stop this nonsense.

cheers

FIXED

2007-07-10T15:48:00.000+01:00

Fixed is an 'exhibition' at the design museum covering the whole fixed thing. well, when i say exhibition, it's a few bikes in a big glass tank... definitely worth seeing (especially as one of them is the beautiful AF1 bike), but i don't wish to mislead no-one...

you can read more here

or you can have a look at some of the beautiful work wilson has created here

Please stop

2007-07-10T15:39:00.000+01:00

now i can't exaxctly complain about the sudden rise in fixies around these parts, after all, i'm not a courier, a pro or remotely hardcore, but i saw something i liked in it.

i can however complain about people adopting this because it's 'trendy'. Riding fixed isn't for the faint hearted (or the under-skilled for that matter) as i found out very quickly a couple of years back. Taking straight to the streets of London straight off could be the perfect way to conquer it, or the perfect way to end up under a bus. So, people, take your time, i'm seeing too many wobblers, it's scary.

And.. the quantity of people riding around on 'fixies' with the requisite goldfinger front (and no rear) and a big fat freewheel are scaring the shit out of me. when it's fixed fair enough, but please... freewheel with front and rear brakes. otherwise when 'that' cabby pulls out and you shit your pants, you also be doing a face plant

fair enough with fixed. but, please do it for me, stick a back brake on if you're freewheeling.

On a final note, i can't wait until all these trend-spotters move on to something else, i'm gonna mop up on ebay...

TFL (again...)

2007-07-06T10:47:00.000+01:00

once again i felt inclined to talk to TFL regarding one of their drivers. i've resisted doing this as the last time i did, the complaints procedure made me more annoyed than the incident... but...

last week, i had the usual bus overtaking so that it can brake violently and stop at the bus stop 20 metres in front of me. but on this occasion the driver also decided to cut in and almost run me into the railings (no bail out pavement option here).

so, i went alongside, called him a wanker and took a note of his registration. when he noticed i was doing this, he proudly pointed out his driver ID number, smiled and gave me the thumbs up.

by this point i'm feeling very 'happy' that this fucking clown has almost wrecked me and my bike, yet he finds it funny... god, i still want to shout cunt now...

anyways, i complain again and get the same response as i did last time. something along the lines of 'sorry, but they information you supplied isn't enough to ID the driver'. In fact, i'll paste the mail below and let you know how the respond to my reply, as i'm keen to hear aside from actually following the driver home, noting his ad

ress, taking pictures, perhaps getting his national insurance number, how much fucking information i need to ID a driver. he was in a big fucking bus, on this street, at this time, here's his ID, how hard can it be?????

i'm going to start carrying a camera.

anyway, here's the mail and my response (mails have neen removed to protect the ignorant).

dear Jack

thanks for taking the time to respond to my mail.

this is the 2nd time i've reported what i consider to be extremely dangerous driving from TFL staff, and it's also the 2nd time I've been told that I haven't supplied the correct information. Last time i supplied a bus registration number and this time a driver number (which said driver pointed out to me proudly, after nearly running me off the road).

so... could you please tell me exactly what i need to make a note of next time this happens please? i'd like to see if you can restore my faith in TFL and prove that the complaints procedure isn't just a matter of 'going through the motions'.

regards
andy horn

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Van Der Waals Matthew $ST$"
> To:
> Subject: Case 485137
> Date: Mon, 2 Jul 2007 11:03:19 +0100
>
>
> Our Ref: 485137/2/JW
> Date: 02 July 2007
>
> Dear Mr Horn
>
> Incident on 18 June 2007 - Old Street
>
> Thank you for your recent email about the above. I am grateful for
> the time you have taken to get in touch.
>
> I am sorry you experienced a problem with the behaviour of a bus
> driver on this occasion. To ensure that our drivers are meeting
> our high standards we also regularly carry out a number of
> different monitoring exercises, including driver quality monitoring
> surveys conducted by the Driving Standards Agency.
>
> As a result, the majority of our drivers carry out their role in
> the way we would expect. I am sorry that this wasn't reflected in
> the behaviour of this driver.
>
> Unfortunately, from the information you have provided I am unable
> to identify the bus driver. If you are able to provide me with any
> additional details about the bus, such as the registration number
> or route number, I will ensure this is looked into further.
> However, I appreciate that during such an incident this isn't the
> first thing you would necessarily have thought to obtain.
>
> Once again, thank you for writing. If I can be of any help in the
> future, please feel free to contact me.
>
> Yours sincerely
>
>
> Jack Walters
> Customer Services
>
>
> **********************************************************************
> This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
> are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
> TfL IM Service Desk on 08452 340 017.
>
> This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
> MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
>
> Surface Transport
> Transport for London
> **********************************************************************

>

'Green'

2007-07-06T10:04:00.000+01:00

i don't talk much about green issues, mainly because being more environmentally friendly is a by product of my cycling rather than the initial goal.

and i'm a bit crap at saving all those little bottles.

anyway, i read an article about sustainable commuting in ottawa. with it's 170km of bike paths, you can cycle pretty much the whole river without crossing a road. they even close the one that runs alongside in the summer! it sounds like somekind of bike mecca... although the article didn't mention how far you had to ride without hitting someone meandering in the lane, some broken glass or dog shit...

if you don't wish to bike, you can canoe, rollerblade or ice skate (in the winter of course...)
ice skating vid

now i'm not suggesting you canoe to work in london (the canal rats would have you) but it does make you think that there is a hell of a lot more ken could be doing to make our commute a lot easier and a shitload more environmentally friendly.

currently i see little evidence of any kind of commitment to make life better for the very cyclists he encourages with his shitty poster campaigns. 'You're better off by bike' more to be written off by one of TFLs buses, but better off...

obviously i still enjoy riding anywhere i can, but it fucks me off when someone gets self righteous, then demonstrates very little commitment to practicing what they preach. it brings to mind an 'heated debate' i had with a girl regarding tattoos, she stated that if you get one it should be somewhere prominent, i pointed out that sadly society still makes the connection between criminality and ink (or atleast chav and ink) so i can understand why some people choose to have them somewhere personal (mine's a half sleeve BTW, so i'm sat on the fence so to speak). this went on for sometime, until i asked her if she actually had a tattoo, she didn't...

now i'm not saying you're not entitled to an opinion, i'm just asking you formulate said opinion based on perhaps some experience and/or facts... i.e. ride a bike in london before you tell me and thousands of others how to do it. perhaps even ask some of us cyclists what we need? maybe?

and no, it's not a free reflective yellow vest.

It's been a long time...

2007-07-06T09:58:00.000+01:00

...Follow procedures the crowd couldn't wait to see this
Nobody been this long awaited since Jesus... [rakim]

well, not quite true... or at all true, except the long time bit...

I've been a having a bit of crisis of late, i got a bit bored with my own rants, then started to wonder if writing about the hate i sometimes feel on my rides was making things worse... and i should try and rise above it, hit somekind of enlightened peak.

then i got pushed by one bus too many, besides i like swearing and i've got lots of crap i'd like to share with the four or so people who check my blog sporadically.

so... ummmm... i'm back from my 'soul searching'

Two wheeled protesting

2007-04-20T11:13:00.000+01:00

Someone sent this around work... i know i should be talking about freedom of speech and the injustices of the state... but i have to confess, i'm posting it because i think it's cool...
Read the other stuff at wired

what a prize c**t

2007-04-11T13:53:00.000+01:00

found this on the surly blog...

"I can't support bike lanes. Roads are built for buses, cars, and trucks. My heart bleeds when someone gets killed, but it's their own fault at the end of the day."

-Rob FordToronto City Councillor

they're urging people to mail him and i have to confess that even though i'm on the other side of the pond... i have.

they also urge you not to swear, which i didn't, but now i'm on my own blog i'm happy to announce that councillor ford is a cunt of the highest order. we all have enough to deal with when it comes to motorists thinking they automatically have a god given right to run us into the ground without people in authority agreeing...

needless to say it made me rather angry.

mail him and block up his inbox here:
councillor_ford@toronto.ca

Respect(s)

2007-03-27T13:34:00.000+01:00

Shocking article on Velorution about the number of cyclist deaths at the hands of HGV drivers. Shocking not just because of the numbers, but also because 85% are women...

For some time i've ranted about the complete oblivion which most drivers seem to surround themselves with in london, particularly drivers of HGVs/buses. This isn't about the highway code, who has right of way or whether you don't like cyclists... it is about having a little thought about other road users and considering that you could perhaps kill someone in your attempt to get somewhere at breakneck speed.

For once, i'm slightly at a loss as to what to say, i just can't believe anyone can have such little regard for human life.

It's an interesting article and you read it here

Pret a Rouler

2007-03-17T11:54:00.000Z

i'm all for practical clothing on a bike, after spending most of my 1st 'proper' year cycling in london with a mix of an old pair of cut-off BDUs, some crap cycling shorts and everything, but everything altura, i quickly noted the merits of propers cuts and materials.

this doesn't mean i like lycra, well... i don't wear lycra, atleast not where it's visible and i do manage to avoid the classic luminous look of most commuters. but, i for one would love to see some clothing that is cycle specific, uses technical fabrics, but most of all makes you feel less of a dick when you walk around sans bike.

i know velorution are a pushing some boundries on this, so it came as no surprise to find this on there site:
pret a rouler

i say no suprise, but nice none-the-less, a fashion show of new emerging designers alongside some more established names like rapha (love you, can't afford you... 90 for a pair of breeks...) and showcased in somekind of mysterious multimedia type way... on brick lane... i'm looking forward to it...

little langster

2007-03-17T11:46:00.000Z

Just thought this was a suitable urban setting for a little langster... even with my preference for steel and the shit this poor bike gets from purists, i like em.

this one's sporting some pure courier style, that cheap placky guard pointing down on the wheel, the new york lock, can't tell if it's a goldfinger lever, but i'd put money on it. whether it's real or pretend, who cares, it looks good...

Shuffle

2007-03-16T10:51:00.002Z

On the subject of 'I can make it' I nearly hit someone yesterday, on my bike that is, not with a fist or anything.

I was speeding around waterloo roundabout, at least I think that's what it's called, the one with the big cinema thingy in the middle... Anyway, flying around there, you have to pick up a bit of speed to keep pace with all the cars tearing around it, then you drop down into a smaller road with a pedestrian crossing.

Now... I look down and see lots of people crossing, it's a green light for me though, so I brake a little and start honking my horn, most people clear at this point, except for the brainless prick with the ipod, he just carries on sauntering across...

At this point I try and brake, but feel my back wheel slide, so I decide to go around him at the risk of scaring the shit out of him. Hey! It's better than me hurting myself.

Then he sees me.

And he does that scared 'where the fuck should I go' shuffle, forwards (yes!) then backwards (no!) and then thankfully forward again.

I ride around him, call him a fucking pillock and he gives me a paddington bear stare.

I'd just like to point out that YOU were in the wrong, I did everything I could, fucking look before you leap.

If... I... Can... Just... Make... It...

2007-03-16T10:51:00.001Z

Why do so many of the people I encounter on my daily ride think they can make it?

They CAN make that traffic light before it goes red.
They CAN trundle across the road (on red) before I plough into them (on green).
They CAN pull out in front of me and accelerate so that I don't smack into the side of them.

I reckon people should be given a taste of singlespeed (or indeed fixed) for a week. They'll understand that you CAN wait, it doesn't really matter it's just a few minutes, enjoy the sunshine or something.

If you're wondering where my new found karma has come from, I'm experimenting with a new non-swear, take in the view (whilst watching out for cunts) approach to my rides. I feel it helps with my blood pressure.

It's been prompted by the very un-seasonal weather we're having here, I've had a week of sunny mornings, around 15 degrees, and the fresh love i'm feeling for the karate monkey, it's made me smile everyday.

Apparently it's going to snow on Monday and drop to 5 degrees...

Belt up

2007-03-08T13:30:00.000Z

I'd seen these on Brixton Cycles and Howies... and then forgot about them...

Then i saw them again on Gwadzilla (thanks!) and thought they deserved a post for so many reasons. I'd like to pretend the main one was a green reason, but i have to confess it's because i think they're cool... and i want one.

Please Mr. Motorist... PT2

2007-03-08T13:20:00.000Z

Please keep this in mind Mr (or Mrs in this case) motorist...

When i try and take a dominant position on the road, it's for the following reason, i'm nervous about some cunt running me over on a very busy roundabout (waterloo in this case, but it extends to most).

I'm not doing it to be annoying.

Therefore trying accelerate around me, defeats the point, i did this to stop you doing that. i'm only going to hold you up for 20 seconds as i scoot to the side as fast as my little ginger legs will carry me, so stick with me, then you can be on your way, a whole 20 seconds late for your shitty job.

i do hope this won't affect your 5K monthly bonus, but if it does, perhaps you could consider using public transport, it's cheaper, quicker, better for the environment and i'd be much happier with one less cunt on the road.

yes indeed...

2007-03-02T13:37:00.000Z

nicked from fixedgeargallery... i hope they don't mind... i just liked the sentiment...

Cambodia & Vietnam

2007-02-21T14:41:00.000Z

more pics from my trip here:
flickr

not all bike related though...

‘Why can’t they dress up as milk-men instead?’

2007-02-21T09:43:00.000Z

now here’s a stereotype I definitely fall in to… that of the ‘fakenger’

in fact, I was originally going to call my blog that... Then I decided it was a bit shit…

anyway, I do find it frustrating that because I ride with one gear, don’t like brightly coloured lycra and prefer sidi to big white trainers and rugby socks, that I’m some kind of fake, pretender or Nathan barley type.

Anyway, I think this sums up the sentiment much better than I ever could...
‘Why can’t they dress up as milk-men instead?’

other global concerns...

2007-02-20T12:35:00.000Z

wish i could make this, although my bank manager is probably pleased i can't...
the north american handmade bicycle show

and why oh why? do her majesty's customs and excise think it's perfectly acceptable to take nearly 8 quid from me on a 40 dollar spend at onelesscar? oneless did the work, not you money grabbing cunts.

*sigh*

darn it...

2007-02-20T12:31:00.000Z

... i've missed the sydney body art bike ride.

and i had my hulk design all sorted....

Transport for London

2007-02-20T12:18:00.000Z

I’m not usually one of those cunts that feels motivated enough to write to the papers or make things formal on the complaints front…. But…

Riding in last week I was subject to, and then witnessed, some of the most inconsiderate and dangerous driving I have seen in quite some time. I felt so incensed that I actually took note of the drivers number with the intention of complaining, this is odd, as you know if you’ve ever read this blog (if anyone reads this blog…) or indeed know me, I’d normally just settle for a hearty cuss…

Anyways, it’s raining, it’s dark, it’s miserable, it’s a morning ride in London, I’m moving down the old kent road when this prick of a bus driver overtakes, indicates and then does a sharp left to pull in at a bus stop.

I brake, skid, compose myself, then ride past and inform the driver that he’s a stupid cunt. Nothing unusual here, I do this most mornings and evenings (usually a few times). But this time I witness him do the same and then some to another rider 200 metres up the road, this time forcing said rider to put his hand out and actually touch the bus.

I’m sorry, but this is a fucking joke, this prick is driving a 10 ton hunk of metal like it’s a run around.

So… I’ve mailed TFL to tell them their ‘share the roads’ campaign is a joke and as I’ve said before ‘I’ll share the road when other pricks want to share it with me’.

I’ll post a response as (and if) I receive it.

NB: Initially this driver was to be awarded the cunt of the year title, but I’ve ridden a few more times after, there are now lots of other candidates.

i know i don't NEED them...

2007-02-04T18:25:00.000Z

but these are rather lovely trouser clips... no... i won't buy them...

courtesy of velorution

Back in the saddle

2007-02-04T17:26:00.000Z

i managed a couple of rides this week, the last one resulting in my strange ailment
this weekend... but hey... i enjoyed them...

everything hurt, lungs, legs, bits and butt, but it felt great to be travelling in a way that doesn't involve cramming into a carriage with a hundred other smelly bods.

it did however remind me of a few things:

1. most taxi drivers are still cocks (strange that hasn't changed in the last 5 weeks). prime example was the oblivious prick that i nearly rode into the back of (after he made a particularly hilarious braking maneuver). i say 'oblivious' as his only focus was the bloke in the suit with his hand in the air and sadly not the sweating ginger riding behind him. i'm also sad to say that my paddington bear stare did little to alarm/provoke him.

2. pedestrians are still stupid. i counted 8 ridiculous moves, stepping out without looking, going to step out, see me then wobble on the curb... etc. i have a plan, hand out £40 fines to these dicks when they cross on red.

3. and finally, it reminded me that i like bikes... a lot...