That red light thing

now i know this one causes a lot of debate and is well worn ground... but, in light of the new 'share the road campaign' courtesy of tfl, i felt incensed enough to have a rant.

so... the basic premise of this wonderful campaign, is to stop evil cyclists from endangering everyone's life with their 'idiotic' behaviour... in fact someone shouted 'lights idiot' at me this morning, not seeing the irony in the fact they were crossing on red...

anyway, whilst there's no denying that jumping reds is potentially dangerous, i'd argue that the drivers of motor vehicles that i see jumping reds most days are much more reckless and dangerous than me on my little red bike...

in fact, a pedestrian is 100 times more likely to be injured in a collision with a motor vehicle, than with a cycle (despite the 71% rise in bike use this year) and to back that up, last year 34,791 pedestrian injuries were caused by motor vehicles with only 331 involving cycles (thanks to the CTC for the hard facts).

535 people were also killed last year in collisions, only one of these involved a cycle (which coinidentally wasn't jumping a red, riding on the pavement or indeed doing anything 'illegal') the rest cars/motorbikes/trucks/the usual.

and even the riding on the pavement thing (which i have to confess i have done, but usually when someone has closed any other option for me and then i've done it a slower than walking pace) shows that there were 2,197 injuries occurring on the pavement caused by motor vehicles, 17 of which were fatal. this figure outnumbers similar cycle collisions by 42 to 1.

so... and to end this on a informed and adult note, this new campaign is as much a crock of shit as the proposed bicycle number plates or the plan to fine you £2500 for not having a bell on your bike.

for fuck's sake can we please address some real issues? people talking on phones whilst driving for one, how many times do i need to narrowly avoid a scrape because some prick is trying to multi-task when it's evident he can't even keep his car in a straight line.

and if you're going to take the line of simply following the highway code, fine, but could all motor vehicle drivers and pedestrians take note of the following...

when you do something fucking stupid, like step out into the road without looking, don't get angry at me when i honk (or shout if it's too late), i'm trying to save both our arses from a tumble.

when you do something sketchy, like cross when it's on red, or cut down the outside of the traffic, don't get angry at me for doing the same.

share the road, sure, happy to, now you.

a point of note...

to take a left and then fire up ones indicators is a pointless affair, such actions render said indicating lights impotent.

to clarify there is no point letting me know you're turning after you already have... like the retard driving the MP did this morning and the fat fuck in the jag did tonight...

On the subject of bike police...

do they really need hope brakes and rohloff gears? isn't this a bit like all the patrol cars being mercs?

glad my tax's are (once again) being spent wisely.

i reckon they should have proper black pashley numbers like the real police of old... it wouldn't even make much difference, most of them aren't exactly 'athletic'

community 'support'

so... wednesday morning... i'm on my way to work... which involves a little detour along the pavement, as the council has kindly closed the road that i need to use. now i spy what i think are some city police (they were all over liverpool street), so i think best be on the safe side, not fancying another £40 fine or indeed the conversation with the humourless twat that handed it out.

anyway, they're not police, they're 'community support officers' and they're throwing out the fines.

so, fair enough, i guess... you shouldn't ride on the pavement, it's against the L-A-W.

but for fuck's sake, do we live in toy-town? is the greatest evil facing london cycling on the pavement?

a few nights previous to this a father of 2 in hackney was stabbed to death on his doorstep, just up the road from where i am now, but no, let's spend our tax's on ticketing cyclists.

now don't get me wrong, i know people do take the piss and fly along the pavement sometimes, this is out of order, no dispute, but fucking hell, these are people riding slower than i walk, can't we have some discretion? nope. £40 please sir.

i'm fuming by now, then i see someone on a nice little track bike deliberately take to the pavement (when he could follow the road) squeezing past the 'officers' and ignoring their attempts to exert some authority... then one of the chumps hops on his shitty mountain bike and gives chase! i just wish i could have seen the whole thing, all 30 seconds of it...

anyway, my point is, priorities, let's have some please.

it's official...

... i have 'mini bars blud!'

that's what the yewth in peckham said, so who am i to disgaree?

do what is says on the rim

i decided to go for a ride to clear my head, after two days of staring at my laptop... in my bedroom...

i also decided to pop into cycle team (after not pumping the tyres enough).

this is where things go wrong... if a tyre says max 100psi, it's probably best to stick to that, rather than 120, thinking you'll be fine...

10 minutes of riding later, my tyre makes a funny noise... i listen... then carry on... then it gets louder... i look down and my tyre is poking off the rim and i can see the inner tube. i take this as an indication to stop, which i do thankfully, because as i slow it jams in the front brake and forces a mini endo.

i get off the bike and pick it up, as i do so it lets out a comedy gunshot pop, the guy next to me nearly does a shit (gunshots not taken lightly around lewisham) and i have a 3 inch gash in the tube.

i have to confess to finding it quite funny at this point, such a comedy noise and reaction, then i try and repair the wheel to no avail. one side is ballooning out from the blowout and just won't stay on the rim.

so... i have to walk, past loads of youths... in my new sidi shoes, which are great, except for walking... it takes me 30 mins of clip-clopping and sliding to get to a train and then home.

read the instructions.

bike points

the one day someone asks me if i've got any tyre levers is the one day i haven't...

anyway, i feel sorry for this bloke, it may have helped that he was riding a singlespeed and not clad in lycra, but i decide to whizz home pick up the levers and catch him up.

multiple points scored.

anyway, everything is going to plan, until some prick in a white van nearly totals me on a side street... he comes straight across the road wedging me into parked cars.

so much for the good samaritan.

anyway, i pull along side and ask him what the fuck he was doing. he raises his hand and shrugs (he can't hear me through the glass) so i tell him he could have fucking looked and inform him that he cut me up. he does the same again, i'm getting quite 'moody' at this point... then the fuckwit realises turning his radio down might allow him to hear me... and he does... and he does...

but here's the best bit, he kind of does a shrug to say 'oh, thanks for telling me' no apology, nothing. i should be allowed to carry a gun.

anyway, i carry on and catch your man, who is admittedly only about 15 mins from a bike shop by now, but he appreciates it and is super friendly.

despite things going pear shaped early on, i head off with a warm glow hoping i've spread some kind of cycling karma...

so, in theory, the next time my saddle falls off in peckham, leaving me with a ride to london bridge with a potentially rectally invasive seatpost i'm hoping one of the cunts that rode past me last time will perhaps stop and offer some help...

helmet

i read this:
Wearing helmets 'more dangerous'

it seems you're more likely to get hit by a motorist if you wear one as they see you as a 'lycra clad warrior' and therefore more 'predictable' in your riding.

all this talk of helmets and warriors brings me to the most relevant part of that article...

"Most adult cyclists know what it is like to drive a car, but relatively few motorists ride bicycles in traffic, and so don't know the issues cyclists face.

There should definitely be more information on the needs of other road users when people learn to drive and practical experience would be even better."

hurrah. i can see that happening.

new bars...

chopped my bars (again) last night. i think they've reached the point of being quite ridiculous... but they're great to ride, can squeeze in anywhere.

Oh, while i'm here, can't waste the opportunity to whinge... what's with the undertaking? i had two dicks on mountain bikes do it to me this morning. slowing as i come up to some reds, i'm forced to pull out into traffic, what the fuck's that about? fortunately for them i was courteous enough to let them out... well.. to be honest, it was more a self preservation thing. anyway, next time i think i may try to ride the fuckers into the back of a cab/lorry/bus.

we all have enough to deal with already, let's not have too much bike on bike action.

ealing broadway fixie

i spotted the following beauty in ealing this saturday... it's pretty small, but pretty none-the-less.

then i saw the wheels, crazy spoke work! reckon i'd be a bit scared to ride them, but they looked great.

swears

I had two reasons to swear on my ride today, well i had more, but there's not enough time to list all of them...

firstly, why is that every bus driver in london is a self-righteous prick? i cut a light, fair enough, maybe i shouldn't have done that, but please... anyway a bus honks, i raise a finger, he honks again and proceeds to drive very close to me.

i ride on, then the red mist descends and i head back to discuss the matter. he either sees me and thinks he can't be arsed, or he is aiming to hit someone else by now...

anyway, i'm way in the wrong, i jumped a light then i was cheeky. BUT and it's a big but, how many times do i see bus' jump reds on my ride in? 4 times that's one every ten mins. i didn't even bother counting how many times they cut me up.

so... get fucked with the honking until your house is in order.

secondly, a cyclist in front of me (who i've been playing tag with) goes over an amber on a pedestrian crossing just as soneone steps out, tuts and head shaking following. so, i brake and gesture for him to cross (even though it's on green now) to be greeted by the same head shaking... i exchanged some banter and carried on my game...

i'm very bored with this attitude that cyclists are the greatest danger on the the road, it's bollocks. if we can't cross a red, neither can you mr. city tosser, if we can't ride on the pavement (i still have my £40 fine) then please don't step out onto the road after listening for cars, but not looking for bikes.

£180...

You smash into a bunch of cyclist, killing 4 of them, then you get fined £180 for having bald tyres...

The Abergele horror comes it's (il)logical conclusion.

Whether the driver had bald tyres, was drunk (which apparently he wasn't) was driving too fast (the law says not, but conditions and common sense might say otherwise) or simply being reckless, is not the point.

Road users simply need to be responsible for one another. It's not acceptable to cut me up to get to your shitty desk by 9am or run a red because the bus you are driving has a schedule to hit. you could kill me.

I love riding my bike, but i find more and more on my daily ride that i'm becoming bored with swearing and losing all faith in human nature once it sits behind a wheel.

Thank you Mr. Mercury

i am traffic...

i had a motorcyclist touch my back wheel last night, i obviously called him a wanker...

then i thought about it and realised he'd done it on purpose (he tried to undertake and i accidentally cut him off, i had right of way i should say). i can't believe some body would do something that could leave me on my arse in the face of traffic because they think they're more important than me....

sadly i didn't take his number and instead foccussed my energy on racing after him, giving him the finger and once again calling him a fucking wanker... i wish i'd took the number... i really do...

anyway, so this gets me thinking about jumping red and so on, and i've decided i'll stick to the highway code (to the letter) when every other fucker on the road treats me like fucking traffic and not a target for their frustration. cunts.

everyone hates us

i read any article this weekend that discussed why cyclists have gone from being 'eco friendly' to psychos on wheels...

on my ride in today i decided everyone hates us, because we hate them, they step out without looking (engage brain) they pull out without looking, they generally do everything that makes us believe that they want to kill or maim us.

this morning a bus decides to spill passengers out into the cycle lane, i brake, slow down to pass and get tuts from the passengers waiting to get off, i gnash teeth, get angry and shout... i hate them.

now hours later, i don't know for sure if that was a bus stop... i wouldn't say i feel bad, maybe stupid though...

Summer ride

Just a couple of pics of my improved cross-check...

stripped off the old winter tractor wheels and the shit catchers for something more racey... and added some on-one midges, which coincidentally rock.



i was gonna turn this bike into somekind of geared up tourer, but a week of riding in clement weather has turned me around, singlespeed is top, even if my legs do knack.

Pronounced 'Pa-Kay'...

...apparently

these are just lovely, super clean, simple and (supposedly) cheap to boot. i want one.

Pake bikes

Pretty ladies... on bikes...

well, if you can get away with it... why not?

fyxomatosis

nice site, lots of lovely pics and stuff.


horn

Ride of Silence

i always thought the memorial rides i read about on US sites and the emergence of 'ghost bikes' were/was very touching, i just didn't expect to see them in london, guess i thought everyone was too busy...

that said, maybe it's down to my ignorance and they're going on all the time...

anyway, more here:
Ride of Silence

The World Cup...

*yawn*

but this fan's efforts are pretty admirable...
8m bike