Tuesday, September 26, 2006

do what is says on the rim

i decided to go for a ride to clear my head, after two days of staring at my laptop... in my bedroom...

i also decided to pop into cycle team (after not pumping the tyres enough).

this is where things go wrong... if a tyre says max 100psi, it's probably best to stick to that, rather than 120, thinking you'll be fine...

10 minutes of riding later, my tyre makes a funny noise... i listen... then carry on... then it gets louder... i look down and my tyre is poking off the rim and i can see the inner tube. i take this as an indication to stop, which i do thankfully, because as i slow it jams in the front brake and forces a mini endo.

i get off the bike and pick it up, as i do so it lets out a comedy gunshot pop, the guy next to me nearly does a shit (gunshots not taken lightly around lewisham) and i have a 3 inch gash in the tube.

i have to confess to finding it quite funny at this point, such a comedy noise and reaction, then i try and repair the wheel to no avail. one side is ballooning out from the blowout and just won't stay on the rim.

so... i have to walk, past loads of youths... in my new sidi shoes, which are great, except for walking... it takes me 30 mins of clip-clopping and sliding to get to a train and then home.

read the instructions.

bike points

the one day someone asks me if i've got any tyre levers is the one day i haven't...

anyway, i feel sorry for this bloke, it may have helped that he was riding a singlespeed and not clad in lycra, but i decide to whizz home pick up the levers and catch him up.

multiple points scored.

anyway, everything is going to plan, until some prick in a white van nearly totals me on a side street... he comes straight across the road wedging me into parked cars.

so much for the good samaritan.

anyway, i pull along side and ask him what the fuck he was doing. he raises his hand and shrugs (he can't hear me through the glass) so i tell him he could have fucking looked and inform him that he cut me up. he does the same again, i'm getting quite 'moody' at this point... then the fuckwit realises turning his radio down might allow him to hear me... and he does... and he does...

but here's the best bit, he kind of does a shrug to say 'oh, thanks for telling me' no apology, nothing. i should be allowed to carry a gun.

anyway, i carry on and catch your man, who is admittedly only about 15 mins from a bike shop by now, but he appreciates it and is super friendly.

despite things going pear shaped early on, i head off with a warm glow hoping i've spread some kind of cycling karma...

so, in theory, the next time my saddle falls off in peckham, leaving me with a ride to london bridge with a potentially rectally invasive seatpost i'm hoping one of the cunts that rode past me last time will perhaps stop and offer some help...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


i read this:
Wearing helmets 'more dangerous'

it seems you're more likely to get hit by a motorist if you wear one as they see you as a 'lycra clad warrior' and therefore more 'predictable' in your riding.

all this talk of helmets and warriors brings me to the most relevant part of that article...

"Most adult cyclists know what it is like to drive a car, but relatively few motorists ride bicycles in traffic, and so don't know the issues cyclists face.

There should definitely be more information on the needs of other road users when people learn to drive and practical experience would be even better."

hurrah. i can see that happening.

new bars...

chopped my bars (again) last night. i think they've reached the point of being quite ridiculous... but they're great to ride, can squeeze in anywhere.

Oh, while i'm here, can't waste the opportunity to whinge... what's with the undertaking? i had two dicks on mountain bikes do it to me this morning. slowing as i come up to some reds, i'm forced to pull out into traffic, what the fuck's that about? fortunately for them i was courteous enough to let them out... well.. to be honest, it was more a self preservation thing. anyway, next time i think i may try to ride the fuckers into the back of a cab/lorry/bus.

we all have enough to deal with already, let's not have too much bike on bike action.

Monday, September 18, 2006

ealing broadway fixie

i spotted the following beauty in ealing this saturday... it's pretty small, but pretty none-the-less.

then i saw the wheels, crazy spoke work! reckon i'd be a bit scared to ride them, but they looked great.


I had two reasons to swear on my ride today, well i had more, but there's not enough time to list all of them...

firstly, why is that every bus driver in london is a self-righteous prick? i cut a light, fair enough, maybe i shouldn't have done that, but please... anyway a bus honks, i raise a finger, he honks again and proceeds to drive very close to me.

i ride on, then the red mist descends and i head back to discuss the matter. he either sees me and thinks he can't be arsed, or he is aiming to hit someone else by now...

anyway, i'm way in the wrong, i jumped a light then i was cheeky. BUT and it's a big but, how many times do i see bus' jump reds on my ride in? 4 times that's one every ten mins. i didn't even bother counting how many times they cut me up.

so... get fucked with the honking until your house is in order.

secondly, a cyclist in front of me (who i've been playing tag with) goes over an amber on a pedestrian crossing just as soneone steps out, tuts and head shaking following. so, i brake and gesture for him to cross (even though it's on green now) to be greeted by the same head shaking... i exchanged some banter and carried on my game...

i'm very bored with this attitude that cyclists are the greatest danger on the the road, it's bollocks. if we can't cross a red, neither can you mr. city tosser, if we can't ride on the pavement (i still have my £40 fine) then please don't step out onto the road after listening for cars, but not looking for bikes.

Friday, September 15, 2006


You smash into a bunch of cyclist, killing 4 of them, then you get fined £180 for having bald tyres...

The Abergele horror comes it's (il)logical conclusion.

Whether the driver had bald tyres, was drunk (which apparently he wasn't) was driving too fast (the law says not, but conditions and common sense might say otherwise) or simply being reckless, is not the point.

Road users simply need to be responsible for one another. It's not acceptable to cut me up to get to your shitty desk by 9am or run a red because the bus you are driving has a schedule to hit. you could kill me.

I love riding my bike, but i find more and more on my daily ride that i'm becoming bored with swearing and losing all faith in human nature once it sits behind a wheel.

Thank you Mr. Mercury