Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'm speechless...

... well, not quite.

Right, so there's this fella in the states, he sees a couple out on their bikes, he sees their 3 year old in a child seat.

He then decides to tell them he doesn't think it's safe for them to be doing that.

They discuss.

He then pulls a gun and shoots one of them in the head. Thankfully missing and just cracking open a helmet rather than a skull.

Fucking hell.

What makes it even scarier, he wasn't pissed, he wasn't high, but he was a fucking idiot.

The original article is here if you're interested, gleamed from urban velo, THE site for all your bicycle related news!

Make your own!

Great work from the bods at Make Magazine.

The lovely Keito bought me a sewing machine for my birthday and i'm itching to find a suitable project.

I realise the idea of my coveting such a home economics icon like the sewing machine, will be at odds with my public image of a bad tempered/mannered gruffin. But I'm going to use it to sew guns... or hate... or something...


Friday, July 24, 2009

The Global Pandemic

It's all over the news, everyone is scared, we're hearing about ‘it’ all the time.

Yes, I'm talking about the relentless spread of fixed gear bikes in London.

I blame this on Charge for making it all a lot more affordable. Not really. I blame it on Shoreditch and BLB. Not really.

I just want to be different at the end of the day. I want people to ask why i only have one gear, rather than ask what ratio I'm running. It's all vanity. I'm as guilty...

But, here's the killer, the death knoll, the dying gasp... I saw John Torode on a fixed gear. A Charge Freestyler.

Subcultures don't get more mainstream than this! you have to imagine Greg shouting that.

Oh yeh

and i'm not bored with the sound of my own voice anymore.

On the subject of the ASL

The ASL, the advance stop line, the bike box, it's there for a reason.

It's so that ‘we’ the vulnerable cyclists, can get a bit of a head start from you chaps in the petrol powered lumps of metal. They’re in place so that YOU can see us.

If you push to the front, and yes, all you scooter/motorbike riders are the worst, then we can't fit in the fucking box. Which leaves us rammed down the side of a car/van/idiot.

This is dangerous. This is why we have ASLs.

I had an argument just the other day... as I realise sometimes people will enter by accident, say if you're trying to dangerously jump through the light as it turns to red, rather than slow down, for example.

Anyway, I came upon someone parked in the ASL, I said nothing, it could ‘innocent’. We both pulled away, only to come to another ASL, where he did it again.

I said to him 'This is a BIKE box. For BIKES.'

He holds his hands up and says 'and?' (I think he said that, he wasn't kind enough to wind his window down).

I tell him it's illegal.

He holds his hands together and says 'sorry' with a big shit eating grin on his face.

Amazingly, I didn't just start swearing at him profusely. I held back and told him he was a 'funny man', real funny 'really clever. very witty' - i kept going with it, not really sure where i was going to be honest. But i kept doing it.

Eventually we both pulled off again and i smiled at him again and pointed at my teeth, mouthing 'funny man'

He held his hand out of this window and flicked me the bird.

I'm taking that as a win. When you stoop to the finger, you're out. You LOSE.

But let's consider this for a moment, he had a passenger, a young(ish) girl, which I'm going to assume is his daughter. Now if she were riding through London, wouldn’t he want her to have a little headstart and visibility? maybe?

Just think about it for a fucking second, it's illegal, it's dangerous, you gain a millisecond.
Stop doing it you cunts.

Let me introduce you to the concept of people in glass houses...

Right, here's how it goes...

Naughty man in car, using phone. BAD.

Motorcyclist tells man in car to stop using his phone, 'it's illegal' he shouts. GOOD.

Motorcyclist shouting at man in car is parked in the ASL (or bike box). BAD.

Right gents, both of you are in the wrong here, by no means do two wrongs make a right.
You're both pricks and I'm angry with you both equally.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and yes, I told him that.