Thursday, July 31, 2008

Do it properly

If you're going for the full fixed gear hipster look, i reckon you should take it to the logical extreme.

i've done you a pursuit version too. they seem very popular.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

THAT hand signal

I had another altercation with a bus driver this morning.

As I'm trying to be nicer, in light of yesterday's manners hiccup, when I saw the big red bus right on my ass, I moved over to let him through, admittedly, I did shake my head, but I made no attempts to raise a finger or shout obscenities.

However, as the bus passed me, I saw the driver ranting through the passenger door. I have no idea what he was saying, but he was plainly annoyed.

Then he cut me up.

So, as I come alongside the bus, I stop next to his window and say 'Was that really necessary?' to which he fires back expletives.

At this moment, I'm still beaming with pride that I didn't swear.

So I retort with 'so, as I annoyed you, you thought it was okay to drive dangerously?' and he says 'was I?'

Right, not the small grains of calm I'm grasping in my hands slip through and I reply 'yes you fucking were, you veered across the lane In a big fucking bus'

He goes mental at this point and starts shouting about 'reading the road' and something about the bus lane.

I say I wasn't in the bus lane and he shouts that I should have been.

Hang on, you're in the big fucking red thing with wheels that carries passengers, why should I be in the BUS lane.

I tell him that there is nothing in the highway code that states I HAVE to use a bus lane, it's my choice. I usually prefer not to, as it's full of cunts like him (I didn't say that bit btw, the cunt bit).

He really loses it now, so I tell him he's an idiot, a dangerous idiot who doesn't even know the highway code. Surprisingly, he doesn't respond well to this, so I push it and call him and idiot again.

He's puce now.

Then he does the naked sock puppet thing.

This is the point of this rant, what does the puppet mean? I mean, I know what it 'means' - I'm all mouth. But we both are, we've both been shouting at each other and neither of us made the offer to move this to queensbury rules.

Then I realise, I've seen this before, this is the last ditch effort of the puppeteer who has run out of expletives. My argument is you're being dangerous, you could kill someone and the highway code, that you're trying to use against me, has just bit you on the arse. Yours is... Ummm... Do you have one?

So, I tell him once more, he's an idiot and he's dangerous. So he drives off right next to me and my now shaking legs (with anger) wobble out of his way.
Are you trying to prove my point?

He does try and drive close me on the next turn, but he has to deal with traffic, I don't.

Two other minor points

To that prick that was walking down the road with earphones in so that he couldn't hear me shouting 'excuse me'. I hope you get run over.

I woke up this morning with an eye that looks like it's been punched. Great. Thanks. Not only do I have to deal with idiots, but with a disfigurement that makes me look like a circus act.

Function over form

I'm confessed to a love of 'functional' bikes on this blog before, which thinking about it is a bit of ridiculous statement... surely all bikes are functional?

well, actually some of the gleaming show bikes that are tootling around shoreditch right now aren't.

anyway, i digress, i'm really digging bikes that look like they can handle shit, they're not all deep v's and track bars, but they're still mighty pretty. in fact, i've made my first move towards this... surly now has a rear rack fitted. the same tubus rack i'm removed from the box and looked at, only to put it back again, at least 20 times over the 9 months.

i took my first ride (to the supermarket) on saturday and it was a complete success, well aside from the first couple of near tips, it's mental how different the bike feels with panniers... but, i'm keen to prove i can manage without an engine.

back to other peoples bikes, lots of lovely examples of work bikes on cyclofiend
the rest of the site is awesome too btw.

i do think the american's are much better at this than us...

I am sometimes wrong

I woke up yesterday with a banging head, complete lack of co-ordination and a sahara-esque mouth.

i only had 3 cans of kronenbourg to blame this on, that's not right or fair.

anyway, i set off after stumbling around and bashing my shins on the pedals/cranks atleast 3 times.

things are going okay, i'm riding through peckham park, there's another cyclist in front on an old peugeot mountain bike (with the coolest 80s graffiti style graphics), there's a guy in the path with his girlfriend (i assume) who moves out of the way.

so it's all good.

however, as i go past i hear him shouting something about '...our mother's not bringing us up properly...' i stop, i ask him who he's talking to, and he says both of us. he moved out of the way and we both went past without thanking him.

i'm tired, i can't be fucked, i'm certainly not going to jump through big hoops of gratitude, i tell him to get over it and say 'for fuck's sake' he shouts something else i don't hear/understand and i ride off.

i ride another couple of hundred metres and then i think... he's right, i should have said thanks. i was rude. i turn around, then i think if i go back now he'll probably think i'm taking the piss and ploat me.

I REALLY need to think a bit more... it's to easy to get caught up in a little fug of cycling self-righteousness...

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


On a day-to-day basis i admire the flexibility of michelle's cycle helmet.
It was a cake tin last week, today a fruit bowl.

It all feels a little 'paddington bear'