2 weeks!

2 weeks! since i've been on a bike... being on (prescribed) drugs and their wonderful side effects have kept me riding something made out of porcelain, rather than steel.

anyway, i finally made it out yesterday, it was fucking cold thanks to the freezing fog we're currently 'enjoying', but thanks to my wonderful new merino number (see below), my shemagh and some help from mr. gore i didn't notice.

i did however notice that my legs were burning, my nose was running like a tap and i felt like my lungs might burst (in between coughs of course)... and it felt great! i'm back in the saddle, hurrah... the brooks one... not the other...

No cussing... it's Christmas...

... and it came a little early this year.

i ordered some hats from shaun deller, if you don't know the name, you can find out more here:
shaun's site

and i have to say not only are they fantastic looking, well built and super earth friendly, but also very warm to boot! and boy did i need that in the stinking freezing fog...

BTW

the lowrider site i got the gold horn pics form has some sweet stuff on there... check out these pedals... jeez...

honk of death

i've been crap... i should have noticed... i had too much work... now i got too much snot and flem... i'm hoping to be back on my bike next week...

i'm sure that'll give me plenty of reasons to cuss and hate.

i'm not dead, i haven't honked my last, but i have been busy/slack...

fold your tyres properly

i received a new schwalbe marathon in the post... whoever sent it didn't know how to fold said tyre properly.. although i have to confess it still puzzles me...

anyway, here's the result, an hour worth of fiddling, the old tyre popped back on out of desperation and these... i have 4... thanks.

with a name like mine...

.. you feel like you have to have some decent pedestrian/car/retard warner, so my choice has always been a proper comedy clown horn.

then i saw this at spittalfields, i reckon it's hard to beat... i salute you.

U-S-A! U-S-A!

interesting article about arlington county offering free lights to cyclists to avoid violations...
the examiner

interesting in that it's a marked contrast with the city of london's bike police and community 'support' officers who seem to delight in sitting out of site at key commuter routes...

handing out on the spot fines just bolsters city funds, i find it hard to believe it changes attitudes.

That red light thing

now i know this one causes a lot of debate and is well worn ground... but, in light of the new 'share the road campaign' courtesy of tfl, i felt incensed enough to have a rant.

so... the basic premise of this wonderful campaign, is to stop evil cyclists from endangering everyone's life with their 'idiotic' behaviour... in fact someone shouted 'lights idiot' at me this morning, not seeing the irony in the fact they were crossing on red...

anyway, whilst there's no denying that jumping reds is potentially dangerous, i'd argue that the drivers of motor vehicles that i see jumping reds most days are much more reckless and dangerous than me on my little red bike...

in fact, a pedestrian is 100 times more likely to be injured in a collision with a motor vehicle, than with a cycle (despite the 71% rise in bike use this year) and to back that up, last year 34,791 pedestrian injuries were caused by motor vehicles with only 331 involving cycles (thanks to the CTC for the hard facts).

535 people were also killed last year in collisions, only one of these involved a cycle (which coinidentally wasn't jumping a red, riding on the pavement or indeed doing anything 'illegal') the rest cars/motorbikes/trucks/the usual.

and even the riding on the pavement thing (which i have to confess i have done, but usually when someone has closed any other option for me and then i've done it a slower than walking pace) shows that there were 2,197 injuries occurring on the pavement caused by motor vehicles, 17 of which were fatal. this figure outnumbers similar cycle collisions by 42 to 1.

so... and to end this on a informed and adult note, this new campaign is as much a crock of shit as the proposed bicycle number plates or the plan to fine you £2500 for not having a bell on your bike.

for fuck's sake can we please address some real issues? people talking on phones whilst driving for one, how many times do i need to narrowly avoid a scrape because some prick is trying to multi-task when it's evident he can't even keep his car in a straight line.

and if you're going to take the line of simply following the highway code, fine, but could all motor vehicle drivers and pedestrians take note of the following...

when you do something fucking stupid, like step out into the road without looking, don't get angry at me when i honk (or shout if it's too late), i'm trying to save both our arses from a tumble.

when you do something sketchy, like cross when it's on red, or cut down the outside of the traffic, don't get angry at me for doing the same.

share the road, sure, happy to, now you.

a point of note...

to take a left and then fire up ones indicators is a pointless affair, such actions render said indicating lights impotent.

to clarify there is no point letting me know you're turning after you already have... like the retard driving the MP did this morning and the fat fuck in the jag did tonight...

On the subject of bike police...

do they really need hope brakes and rohloff gears? isn't this a bit like all the patrol cars being mercs?

glad my tax's are (once again) being spent wisely.

i reckon they should have proper black pashley numbers like the real police of old... it wouldn't even make much difference, most of them aren't exactly 'athletic'

community 'support'

so... wednesday morning... i'm on my way to work... which involves a little detour along the pavement, as the council has kindly closed the road that i need to use. now i spy what i think are some city police (they were all over liverpool street), so i think best be on the safe side, not fancying another £40 fine or indeed the conversation with the humourless twat that handed it out.

anyway, they're not police, they're 'community support officers' and they're throwing out the fines.

so, fair enough, i guess... you shouldn't ride on the pavement, it's against the L-A-W.

but for fuck's sake, do we live in toy-town? is the greatest evil facing london cycling on the pavement?

a few nights previous to this a father of 2 in hackney was stabbed to death on his doorstep, just up the road from where i am now, but no, let's spend our tax's on ticketing cyclists.

now don't get me wrong, i know people do take the piss and fly along the pavement sometimes, this is out of order, no dispute, but fucking hell, these are people riding slower than i walk, can't we have some discretion? nope. £40 please sir.

i'm fuming by now, then i see someone on a nice little track bike deliberately take to the pavement (when he could follow the road) squeezing past the 'officers' and ignoring their attempts to exert some authority... then one of the chumps hops on his shitty mountain bike and gives chase! i just wish i could have seen the whole thing, all 30 seconds of it...

anyway, my point is, priorities, let's have some please.

it's official...

... i have 'mini bars blud!'

that's what the yewth in peckham said, so who am i to disgaree?

do what is says on the rim

i decided to go for a ride to clear my head, after two days of staring at my laptop... in my bedroom...

i also decided to pop into cycle team (after not pumping the tyres enough).

this is where things go wrong... if a tyre says max 100psi, it's probably best to stick to that, rather than 120, thinking you'll be fine...

10 minutes of riding later, my tyre makes a funny noise... i listen... then carry on... then it gets louder... i look down and my tyre is poking off the rim and i can see the inner tube. i take this as an indication to stop, which i do thankfully, because as i slow it jams in the front brake and forces a mini endo.

i get off the bike and pick it up, as i do so it lets out a comedy gunshot pop, the guy next to me nearly does a shit (gunshots not taken lightly around lewisham) and i have a 3 inch gash in the tube.

i have to confess to finding it quite funny at this point, such a comedy noise and reaction, then i try and repair the wheel to no avail. one side is ballooning out from the blowout and just won't stay on the rim.

so... i have to walk, past loads of youths... in my new sidi shoes, which are great, except for walking... it takes me 30 mins of clip-clopping and sliding to get to a train and then home.

read the instructions.

bike points

the one day someone asks me if i've got any tyre levers is the one day i haven't...

anyway, i feel sorry for this bloke, it may have helped that he was riding a singlespeed and not clad in lycra, but i decide to whizz home pick up the levers and catch him up.

multiple points scored.

anyway, everything is going to plan, until some prick in a white van nearly totals me on a side street... he comes straight across the road wedging me into parked cars.

so much for the good samaritan.

anyway, i pull along side and ask him what the fuck he was doing. he raises his hand and shrugs (he can't hear me through the glass) so i tell him he could have fucking looked and inform him that he cut me up. he does the same again, i'm getting quite 'moody' at this point... then the fuckwit realises turning his radio down might allow him to hear me... and he does... and he does...

but here's the best bit, he kind of does a shrug to say 'oh, thanks for telling me' no apology, nothing. i should be allowed to carry a gun.

anyway, i carry on and catch your man, who is admittedly only about 15 mins from a bike shop by now, but he appreciates it and is super friendly.

despite things going pear shaped early on, i head off with a warm glow hoping i've spread some kind of cycling karma...

so, in theory, the next time my saddle falls off in peckham, leaving me with a ride to london bridge with a potentially rectally invasive seatpost i'm hoping one of the cunts that rode past me last time will perhaps stop and offer some help...

helmet

i read this:
Wearing helmets 'more dangerous'

it seems you're more likely to get hit by a motorist if you wear one as they see you as a 'lycra clad warrior' and therefore more 'predictable' in your riding.

all this talk of helmets and warriors brings me to the most relevant part of that article...

"Most adult cyclists know what it is like to drive a car, but relatively few motorists ride bicycles in traffic, and so don't know the issues cyclists face.

There should definitely be more information on the needs of other road users when people learn to drive and practical experience would be even better."

hurrah. i can see that happening.

new bars...

chopped my bars (again) last night. i think they've reached the point of being quite ridiculous... but they're great to ride, can squeeze in anywhere.

Oh, while i'm here, can't waste the opportunity to whinge... what's with the undertaking? i had two dicks on mountain bikes do it to me this morning. slowing as i come up to some reds, i'm forced to pull out into traffic, what the fuck's that about? fortunately for them i was courteous enough to let them out... well.. to be honest, it was more a self preservation thing. anyway, next time i think i may try to ride the fuckers into the back of a cab/lorry/bus.

we all have enough to deal with already, let's not have too much bike on bike action.

ealing broadway fixie

i spotted the following beauty in ealing this saturday... it's pretty small, but pretty none-the-less.

then i saw the wheels, crazy spoke work! reckon i'd be a bit scared to ride them, but they looked great.

swears

I had two reasons to swear on my ride today, well i had more, but there's not enough time to list all of them...

firstly, why is that every bus driver in london is a self-righteous prick? i cut a light, fair enough, maybe i shouldn't have done that, but please... anyway a bus honks, i raise a finger, he honks again and proceeds to drive very close to me.

i ride on, then the red mist descends and i head back to discuss the matter. he either sees me and thinks he can't be arsed, or he is aiming to hit someone else by now...

anyway, i'm way in the wrong, i jumped a light then i was cheeky. BUT and it's a big but, how many times do i see bus' jump reds on my ride in? 4 times that's one every ten mins. i didn't even bother counting how many times they cut me up.

so... get fucked with the honking until your house is in order.

secondly, a cyclist in front of me (who i've been playing tag with) goes over an amber on a pedestrian crossing just as soneone steps out, tuts and head shaking following. so, i brake and gesture for him to cross (even though it's on green now) to be greeted by the same head shaking... i exchanged some banter and carried on my game...

i'm very bored with this attitude that cyclists are the greatest danger on the the road, it's bollocks. if we can't cross a red, neither can you mr. city tosser, if we can't ride on the pavement (i still have my £40 fine) then please don't step out onto the road after listening for cars, but not looking for bikes.

£180...

You smash into a bunch of cyclist, killing 4 of them, then you get fined £180 for having bald tyres...

The Abergele horror comes it's (il)logical conclusion.

Whether the driver had bald tyres, was drunk (which apparently he wasn't) was driving too fast (the law says not, but conditions and common sense might say otherwise) or simply being reckless, is not the point.

Road users simply need to be responsible for one another. It's not acceptable to cut me up to get to your shitty desk by 9am or run a red because the bus you are driving has a schedule to hit. you could kill me.

I love riding my bike, but i find more and more on my daily ride that i'm becoming bored with swearing and losing all faith in human nature once it sits behind a wheel.

Thank you Mr. Mercury

i am traffic...

i had a motorcyclist touch my back wheel last night, i obviously called him a wanker...

then i thought about it and realised he'd done it on purpose (he tried to undertake and i accidentally cut him off, i had right of way i should say). i can't believe some body would do something that could leave me on my arse in the face of traffic because they think they're more important than me....

sadly i didn't take his number and instead foccussed my energy on racing after him, giving him the finger and once again calling him a fucking wanker... i wish i'd took the number... i really do...

anyway, so this gets me thinking about jumping red and so on, and i've decided i'll stick to the highway code (to the letter) when every other fucker on the road treats me like fucking traffic and not a target for their frustration. cunts.

everyone hates us

i read any article this weekend that discussed why cyclists have gone from being 'eco friendly' to psychos on wheels...

on my ride in today i decided everyone hates us, because we hate them, they step out without looking (engage brain) they pull out without looking, they generally do everything that makes us believe that they want to kill or maim us.

this morning a bus decides to spill passengers out into the cycle lane, i brake, slow down to pass and get tuts from the passengers waiting to get off, i gnash teeth, get angry and shout... i hate them.

now hours later, i don't know for sure if that was a bus stop... i wouldn't say i feel bad, maybe stupid though...

Summer ride

Just a couple of pics of my improved cross-check...

stripped off the old winter tractor wheels and the shit catchers for something more racey... and added some on-one midges, which coincidentally rock.



i was gonna turn this bike into somekind of geared up tourer, but a week of riding in clement weather has turned me around, singlespeed is top, even if my legs do knack.

Pronounced 'Pa-Kay'...

...apparently

these are just lovely, super clean, simple and (supposedly) cheap to boot. i want one.

Pake bikes

Pretty ladies... on bikes...

well, if you can get away with it... why not?

fyxomatosis

nice site, lots of lovely pics and stuff.


horn

Ride of Silence

i always thought the memorial rides i read about on US sites and the emergence of 'ghost bikes' were/was very touching, i just didn't expect to see them in london, guess i thought everyone was too busy...

that said, maybe it's down to my ignorance and they're going on all the time...

anyway, more here:
Ride of Silence

The World Cup...

*yawn*

but this fan's efforts are pretty admirable...
8m bike

bags... bags... bags...

lovely bags over here:
reload bags

now why can i only buy altura ones in london...

Wrap & Roll

this thing rocks... i know it's simple... and maybe a bit boring... but it's ingenius...

m2racer wrap and roll

i shouted at a cyclist today...

and i feel bad about it... ish...

well, you get someone who you're pretty much riding with, thanks to the hilarious number of traffic lights around the city, and you get used to them. so when someone is consistently riding like a dick and cutting every red light (clear or not) you don't expect them to suddenly obey the highway code and skid to a stop to let a bus out... when you're in the middle lane, during rush hour... yet he did... and i shouted... oops.

another addition to my hate list, i didn't imagine (some) cyclists would join taxi drivers, commuters, bus drivers, pedestrians and clowns, but sadly some do. don't know why i expected any different...

whilst i'm on the subject of bad driving...

whilst this morning's crash is still on my mind, if anyone is reading this that is, now's the time to pop over to the CTC and lobby your MP.

if you haven't heard about their plans, they're aiming for some key changes, specifically to lower speed limits, make drivers more liable for their actions and to target bad driving generally.

anyways, it's all worthwhile and here:
CTC campaign

and perhaps more importantly, please do react to this one too:
Highway code amendment

if you haven't seen this yet, a revision to the code, specifically:
"Use cycle routes when practicable and cycle facilities such as advanced stop lines, cycle boxes, and toucan crossings where they are provided, as they can make your journeys safer" quote from CTC
it's the 'where they are provided' bit that's scary, there's no option in there...

from what i understand, this means that if i'm injured by a driver near a cycle lane and try to make a claim against said driver, it's highly likely that their lawyer would argue 'contributory negligence'

it does make you wonder if anyone has looked at the cycle lanes in london, to me the combination of potholes, glass, dog sh*t and parked cars make them much more dangerous than the road itself...

british summer time...

... finally felt like it hit this morning. bright, sunny and i only needed one pair of gloves...

just as i was enjoying it, i see someone get whacked by a car. not the usual into the side and over, but a full frontal.

when the poor guy finally got up, the shock had took away his ability to speak or walk and all he managed was 'ffaaaacckkwwwwwaarr'

then i found myself feeling sorry for the driver, that was weird, he looked... ummm... 'sorry' i don't know if it was genuine guilt (he can't have looked before he pulled out) or the fact he was surrounded by 3 cyclists and a motorcyclist, all looking rather stern... so i offered my 'witness' skills and left...

Scary...

posted on gearhead.
bike safety video... with monkeys...

Cuba...

oh... the one thing i should have said... can't get used to this order thing...

my (very) recent interest or should i say re-awakening to the wonders of cycling, was down to a sponsored trip to cuba in aid of the back up trust (www.backuptrust.org). i was expected to ride 400km from havana to trinidad, so thought i better get some miles under my belt first.

i've got a bit of a soft spot for back-up due to the amazing help they gave my best mate after he had a fall, broke some vertebrae and ended up in a wheelchair... sounds too simple that doesn't it? sadly it is... he's an inspiration, and i credit some of that to backup who played a part in his amazing recovery and positive outlook on life.

so... the plan was... 4 ABs (able bodied, that's me and yes, i had to ask what it ment) and 7 wheelchair users fly out to havana have a day there and then get on with it. sounds simple enough, but with cuban accessibility meaning only two flights of stairs to your bedroom (easy for me, not so easy when you rely on wheels) the trip quickly became more than just the ride.

everyone who came along inspired me in some way, though i have to pick out brod, for impressing me with his mileage (especially considering he'd done approx. 2 miles in training) and jason (the guy in the picture), a paralympian and all round nice fella, for helping me use up all of that energy i had left with some fartlek.

in the end, we didn't cover as many miles as we hoped, the cuban roads (and hills...) made tough work for someone using a handbike (front wheel drive... powered by your upper arms... jeez...)... but it was one of the most amazing things i've ever done.

if you do decide to ride cuba, there are a few things i'd recommend, buy a good saddle (and leave it and anything else you can for your cycle guide, cycling socks (even dirty ones) are valued), bring pens (you'll make lots of friends) and develop a taste for rice and beans. then go with it... and enjoy the chorizo spam, it's 'interesting'

p.s. that's a pic of me in a handbike. i managed 10 metres before my arms felt as if they'd come out of their sockets.

my bikes

i'd like to pretend that i'm showing you these as somekind of background/intro type thing... but i'm not really. i'm just very proud of my bikes...

first up is my surly cross-check, i bought it as a replacement for a ridgeback that i'd been riding for a year or so. the same ridgeback that had been giving me serious jip with my shoulder, turns out through bad advice and ignorance (that bits my fault) i'd bought a bike that was just about large enough for a child, but sadly not a 5'10" 13 stone adult...

so, lesson 1 learnt, choose your bike shop carefully.

after some serious research, well... i found a link from the surly site... i checked out brixton cycles and what a top bunch they are. after popping in to pick out something similar to my ridgeback and spend around the £500 mark, i found myself ordering a surly, using some of the parts from my old bike... it... ummm... only cost me £700... oops.

anyway, i can't sing it's praises enough. it's been through a few changes since november, drop bars being fitted and a flip-flop rear wheel (thanks brixton!) but it's going from strength to strength. in fact the new singlespeed thing has been a bit of a revelation, it's like being a kid again and with no gears to worry about (which has also been lovely maintenence-wise on london's salt encrusted roads) you just concentrate on the ride...

so, surly=fun and singlespeed=more fun. great.

which leads me into bike number 2... i had been back to BC (brixton cycles) to look at singlespeeds, a specialized langster (which looked wicked with the moustache bars BC had put on it) and a fuji track bike, both coming in around £400... then i decided to it made more sense to use the cross-check and once again swop parts to something else...

i did look at a surly karate monkey for a bit of fun... then an on-one... but in the end, i went for a compact alu frame with carbon forks. yes, i know that's a bit of a jump... i just loved when i saw it in edwards (camberwell, super nice shop). i'm still not sure i made the right choice, don't get me wrong, it's been great fun and it's nice and easy to navigate around london with, but after popping out for an hour or two on the surly today i may have changed my mind (again)... i think i just have to realise that they are such totally different rides (after all, i used that line to try and convince my girlfriend that i wasn't being frivilous with a 2nd bike...) and it's great to have the option... btw, please excuse my pikey garden in the pics, i'll sort it in the summer... i will...

so, whatever your ride of choice, single or geared, i'm probably looking at it and thinking it would be a nice addition to my set...

I love my bike(s)

it's reached that point...
after all, i talk about bikes until peoples eyes glaze over (and then carry on), i get excited about buying handlebars (but they are lovely on-ones...) and i'm thinking about my next bike when i'm still breaking in the most recent one (2 and counting... looking for that 'project' next)... so... god knows if anyone will read it, but i thought i'd start a blog...